Expert: John T. Aney - 10/20/2006

Question
Dear John T. Aney,
I have wanted to be an actress since I was a little kid, and the more I learn about acting the more I love it. I am currently a sophomore in high school and an active participant in the theatre club. I know I am on the right track when it comes to the school plays. I work hard and my director recognizes me for it. My monologue for Speech and Debate on the other hand is not going so good. I am doing a sad piece about a mother who kills her children, and I feel like I just can't break free of my mediocrity. I know what I need to do for my piece, but I just can't figure out how to do it. There is a varsity meet coming up very soon and myself and this other girl have to compete with each other for a spot in the tournament. I'm sorry that my problem is so vague considering that you haven't heard me read my piece, but if you have any advice I would really appreciate it.
-KELLEY  

Answer
First thing - what is making you feel mediocre?  It's very possible that the only one who thinks you are mediocre is yourself.  You are always your most difficult judge, and I understand the feeling that you just aren't any good, or that you can't escape from little tricks and meaningless emotion.

How do you break this cycle?  You should get someone else's opinion.  You mentioned that you work well with your director.  I recommend asking your director to view your piece and give you feedback.  Tell your director you want to be true to the emotions, and break free from your own feelings of mediocrity.  Your director would most likely be thrilled to help you.

In terms of the specifics of the role and the piece, you are right - it's hard for me to offer advice without knowing the piece.  But remember, someone who kills her own children is probably mentally ill in some way, and that is clear to everyone - except her.  Seriously mentally ill people never think they are truly ill, just as an evil person never really feels they are evil.  They have their own logical justification for what they do, no matter how horrifying it may be to us.  Your challenge in taking on such a heavy piece is finding the humanity, finding the real person behind the monster.  Rent a movie called "Monster" - it came out a few years ago. It's about a real person, Aileen Wournos, who killed a number of people.  It's a good study in the true nature of madness and killers.

Good luck - e-mail me if you have any other questions (through AllExperts).

jta