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About Joseph Lee O.
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Expertise
Greetings to you! Having permanently recovered from chronic alcoholism by “taking The Steps” the original A.A. way, I now understand what makes people “tick”. I can explain the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic’s inherent condition, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required in order to truly recover. Beginning in 1981, I have spent a great amount of time studying “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, as if my very own life depended upon doing so, and it did, and I have spent nearly an equal amount of time listening and sharing in many thousands of fellowship meetings. I am often able to “read between the lines” and help others to see things not always immediately obvious, and I can usually draw from my own experience while tying everything back to the beginning of personal recovery: One-to-one sharing at Step One.

Experience
The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had “no effective mental defense against the first drink” (“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, page 43), and I took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done: it had seemingly “fixed” something inside me I had not even known was broken. Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning very much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that might ever come along. At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the risks of continuing to drink had become too glaring for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive the drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as I had in days past, but something had seemingly “taken over” my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while scared-to-death over the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said or thought or did even only “one day at a time”, I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I quit and stay sober for long at all ... and such is the physical “allergy” (where one drink takes another) coupled with the mental-emotional obsession for the soothing effect of alcohol that eventually kills most chronic alcoholics ... ... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma – my powerlessness – and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I “could not drink even if [I] would” (“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.

You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Substance Abuse > Addiction to Alcohol

Subject	Date Asked	Expert

A new approach?	5/11/2008	Clyde
Q: o son). I read TJ letter who responded to my letter and you may not like the question im about to ... A: Heather, Thank you for the follow-up to your situation. The answer to all your questions ...
Heather	5/10/2008	Clyde
Q: I was reading your answers to Heather's questions and felt an overwhelming need to stand in ... A: TJ, Thank you for your kind words and for the explanation of where you are in regards to the ...
Alcohol now affects me differently	5/9/2008	Jurriaan Plesman
Q: Up until now, I have always gotten the fun uninhibited affect after alcohol consumption. However, ... A: Alcohol is a chemical substance that affects the brain. It can cause a hypoglycemic (low blood ...
3 months later since I wrote	5/9/2008	Clyde
Q: Well, I did leave, but in the weeks before setting the date to go I did give him every opportunity ... A: Heather, Thank you for the follow-up and congratulations on making the tough choices for you ...
RECOVERED PREGNANT WOMAN BACKING OUT!	5/9/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I came across this page out of desperation. I a, in a very intense relationship with a woman that ... A: Greetings again, Jason. For me to get to the bottom of why the woman in question has taken her ...
ended relationship from alcohol and prior abuse	5/9/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: my fiancé ended our relationship after she had entered rehab. She told me that our relationship was ... A: Sean, As I said in my first response to you, I suggest that you attend Al-Anon, not AA, unless you ...
RECOVERED PREGNANT WOMAN BACKING OUT!	5/8/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I came across this page out of desperation. I a, in a very intense relationship with a woman that ... A: Greetings to you, Jason. You have written: >> Now she is saying we went to fast and couldn't be ...
question	5/8/2008	Jurriaan Plesman
Q: i have a weird question, but im 19 and dont drink too often, and so i have a low alcohol tolerance. ... A: You seem to have a normal weight for you height. It appears that you have a low tolerance to ...
ended relationship from alcohol and prior abuse	5/8/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: my fiancé ended our relationship after she had entered rehab. She told me that our relationship was ... A: Sean, That's a tough situation for you to deal with. Your fiancé not only is apparently an alcoholic ...
Alcoholic Ex-Husband	5/6/2008	Clyde
Q: I have 2 children, with my ex-husband, who is an alcoholic. My daughter, who is 13, suffers the ... A: Michelle, Thank you for your contacting AllExperts.com and for your questions. I take it ...
no happy ending	5/6/2008	Druideck
Q: My wife and I have been estranged for about a month now as I had to ask her to leave because of her ... A: Scott, if a crime was committed he should certainly be charged but as you say it depends on what ...
I have recently found out that my best friend of 24 years is an alcoholic	5/6/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I am heartsick right now. I have a friend, Cathy - my best friend - who told me about a year ago ... A: Greetings to you, Annette. I commend your concern for your friend, and I empathize with her in her ...
Blue book	5/4/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I have a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous 4th edition...just want to ask if there are any editions that ... A: Greetings again, TJ. Here is an excerpt from the Preface to the third edition: "... the first ...
What now??	5/2/2008	Amarnath.B
Q: I just broke up with my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years. After a month of uneasiness, I confronted her ... A: Yes, you did what you could. There is no doubt she is an alcoholic and has not touched her rock ...
What now???	5/2/2008	Druideck
Q: I just broke up with my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years. After a month of uneasiness, I confronted her ... A: Brian, the nature of alcoholism is strong denial. This eventually affects the people that live with ...
no happy ending	5/2/2008	Druideck
Q: My wife and I have been estranged for about a month now as I had to ask her to leave because of her ... A: Scott, the nature of alcoholism is that it requires the almost decimation of a person for them to ...
Alchoholic brother	5/2/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: My brother is, I think less than a year from being dead from alcohol. Is there any situation that ... A: Unfortunately, even though drinking does kill and in a real sense your brother may be drinking ...
medicine required for alcohalism	5/1/2008	Amarnath.B
Q: My uncle is a heavy drinker from about 20 years back. Earlier due to being young there was almost no ... A: Alcoholism is a disease and cannot be cured by any medicine. It can only be arrested by staying ...
Sister is an alcholic	5/1/2008	Derek Johnson
Q: I am not sure as to what I can and should do. My sister and I had a very strained relationship.About ... A: Usually the main motivating factor for someone to seek help is "rock bottom" as you describe. It is ...
Hi again	5/1/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I've been chewing a lot of much of your response to my first question, and I have an overwhelming ... A: Greetings again, TJ. You have written: >> I've been chewing a lot ... and I have an overwhelming ...
insight please!	4/29/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I stumbled upon this website accidentally...or probably by divine appointment. Anyway, I'm ... A: Greetings to you, TJ. You have written: >> I struggle with intense feelings of anger towards my ...
not sure what to do	4/29/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I am Nichole, I have been with ths same guy for almost 6 years now, we have two beautiful children, ... A: Greetings to you, Nichole. It is nearly impossible to give very much specific advice from a ...
restore marraige to alcoholic ex	4/28/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: Mr. Lee, I wrote you back in December about my husband who had gone through terrible DT's and was ... A: Greetings again, Pat. Your update is certainly encouraging ... yet please go slowly and cautiously. ...
Trying to understand my friends behavior	4/27/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I have been close friends with an alcoholic for 2 years, since we met in graduate school. My ... A: Greetings again, Laura. You have written: >> He is aware that I have feelings for him ... >> He ...
Trying to understand my friends behavior	4/26/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I have been close friends with an alcoholic for 2 years, since we met in graduate school. My ... A: Greetings to you, Laura. A bit of seeming schizophrenia or psychosis comes to mind as one ...
Trying to understand my friends behavior	4/26/2008	Druideck
Q: I have been close friends with an alcoholic for 2 years, since we met in graduate school. My ... A: Laura, this guy needs to work on his sobriety and his honesty and his fear of closeness or ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	Druideck
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: RJ, alcohol is metabolized through the liver but how fast it gets there is an issue. The level of ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	Jurriaan Plesman
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: The real question is are you or are you not addicted to alcohol? If you are not addicted, exercise ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	james52144@earthlink.net
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: Alcohol is a carbohydrate and when it is metabolized by the liver it turns into sugar. So ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	John Hendrix
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: It is my understanding that the liver metabolizes alcohol at the rate of approximately one ounce per ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: Alcohol is metabolized at a constant rate by the liver (assuming it is sound and healthy), not by ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	Amarnath.B
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: Alcohol is classified as a depressant because it slows down the central nervous system, causing a ...
burning off alcohol	4/25/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? Some say no and some say yes.Those who say no claim ... A: Greetings to you, rj. You have asked: >> Can the body burn off alcohol with exercise? No, not in ...
trust	4/25/2008	Druideck
Q: The last few years my husband has been drinking more and more heavily and walked out on the family ... A: Carol, It is very hard to trust someone that has hurt us in the past. We have good reason to be ...
no happy ending	4/23/2008	Druideck
Q: My wife and I have been estranged for about a month now as I had to ask her to leave because of her ... A: Scott, I know it is a terrible feeling to see your wife in this condition. It is very hard for ...
Advice-I'm newly sober	4/21/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I have been involved with a recovered alcoholic for a year and a half. He has been sober for 24 ... A: Greetings again, Kris. You have written: >> I've taken a long, hard look at myself and my ...
ex	4/21/2008	Amarnath.B
Q: Well a little over 3 years ago i left my common law husband of 15 years do to his very heavy ... A: I am sorry that you had to go thru' trying times with your ex-husband. Michele, after all that ...
WIFE IS AN ACHOHOLIC	4/21/2008	Druideck
Q: MY wife has been drinking heavily for years. Over the past 12 months it really became a problem. I ... A: Dave, I can sense all the frustration you have with your wife and in-laws. Alcoholism is not ...
my partner	4/21/2008	james52144@earthlink.net
Q: i am very concerned about my partner, he has always liked a drink on a social basis but over the ... A: Living with addiction is not pleasant and the likelihood of healing is nonexistent if he does not ...
Advice-I'm newly sober	4/21/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I have been involved with a recovered alcoholic for a year and a half. He has been sober for 24 ... A: Greetings to you, Kris. You have asked: >> Can a person that has been through aa and has been ...

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Questions by
Active Experts:

Derek Johnson	Joseph Lee O.	Todd
John Hendrix	Amarnath.B	james52144@earthlink.net
Clyde	Rebos	Druideck
M.G.	Jurriaan Plesman	Jan Edward Williams

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