Expert: Druideck - 1/8/2008

Question
hi, i guess i will start off saying that i have asked this question before to others but want more feed back if you will. I was married to my husband for 15 years and we have one child togather and he helped me raise my daughter since she was 3. i left my husband 3 years ago due to him being a very heavy alcoholic and i couldnt allow my children to live through it any more. for two years after i left him he continued to drink daily and would call me every day saying how much he loved me and the kids. then one year ago he met a girl two weeks after meeting her he moved in with her. he stop telling me he loved me even though he would on occation tell me he still had strong feeling for me. he claims that he has changed that he is able to drink now without getting drunk. he has recently informed me and my children that he will be getting remarried jan 17, and my heart is breaking, i love this man and the only reason i left was because of his getting drunk daily. I am wondering if i should try to stop him getting married and tell him how much i still love him or should i just let him go.

Answer
Michele,

if he is still drinking and has not had any
alcoholic treatment, I suspect the problem
is still active even though it may be covered
up somewhat by his temporary acts of control.
If this is true his new marriage may not
last long, who would want to live with an active
alcoholic if they were totally sane themselves?
I say get healthy yourself and you may find
the attraction will lessen for drinkers.
Sometimes being a friend is easier and a lot
less stress.
Even if you express your feelings it doesn't
mean he will drop everything does it? He must
have told this other woman he loves her
at some point?
I know it is painful but letting go and moving
on is part of life too.