Expert: Joseph Lee O. - 10/14/2008

Question
Hello I'm 36 year old alcoholic. My story is typical. Had a job, then another job. One child on the way then another. A beautiful wife. A house with a huge mortgage. Feeling very stressed I began to drink heavily. First beer but soon vodka became my drink of choice, min of a 5th a day. I was a major S.O.B. After my wife left me, It only allowed me to step it up and drink more. I promptly lost my house, lost both my jobs and alianated all my friends and family. This was all in the course of 8 years. the hard stuff. I know I'm an alcoholic but have tried to stop. The longest period of not drinking has been 2 weeks. Just one drink at a party or after work with the guys and I'm right back in it.
My question to you is. Even after a week or more of not drinking, working out and trying to eat healthy. I still get anxiety or panick atacks. Dry heaves at the most inapropriat times(the bank,supermarket, job itnerviews). And the worst...shakes! Shaking like a leaf constantly. Trembling as I type this letter. Paranoid because I know people can see what's happening. My children think it's funny that I spill milk pouring it into a bowl of cereal. I haven't drank for a little over a week know. Is this how its going to be now? Have I destroyed my body? Are their medicines, food or exercises I should try? Other than what I have told you, I do not smoke or do any other drugs. I'm athletic not overweight. I just don't want to drink anymore. But feel I need it sometimes to be normal.
Thank you for your time. And hope you have some answers.

Answer
Greetings to you, Beeg.

In my own experience and as you have written, taking away the alcohol does not solve the alcoholic’s dilemma:

>> I just don't want to drink anymore.
>> But feel I need it sometimes to be normal.

We need a sense of security and a reasonable amount of comfort in order to face life and function successfully.  Alcohol had provided those things for us in the past ... but now it no longer works as well as it used to and we are still ill-equipped for living without it:

>> [My] longest period of not drinking has been 2 weeks.

In my own case, being locked up was the only way I was ever able to stay sober for more than a few days.  My very first drink ever had seemed to fix something inside me I had not even known was there, and I have not ever been able to do anything about that myself.

>> Just one drink at a party or after work with the guys and I'm right back in it.

After just one or two drinks is where the physical factor of alcoholism kicks in and alcohol takes over our drinking.  There is a certain chemical reaction that take place and one drink physically demands yet another.  There is no cure for that “physical allergy”, so to speak, but there is a way for us to live without drinking at all.

>> I still get anxiety or panic attacks.
>> Dry heaves ... shakes!
>> Trembling as I type this letter.
>> Paranoid ...
>> Is this how its going to be now?

No, not if the internal (emotional) issues are addressed.

>> Have I destroyed my body?

It is possible there has been a bit of liver damage or whatever else, but the things you have mentioned stem far more from a lack of fulfillment of natural needs for the security and comfort I have mentioned.

>> Are their medicines, food or exercises I should try?

Sometimes a piece of hard candy can be helpful for steadying things a bit, and a good diet is certainly important.  However, our core problem cannot be addressed by physical medicine.  The only solution for the alcoholic having difficulty with reality is a spiritual one, and that is what makes the difference for me today ... and I would gladly help you with that just as others have done for me:

“As a celebrated American statesman put it, ‘Let's look at the record.’
“Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed.  They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.  In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.  This happened soon after they whole-heartedly met a few simple requirements.  Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life.  Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory.  They show how the change came over them.  When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of G-d is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.” (“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, pages 50-51, and not to be confused with today’s AA)

Joseph Lee O.
Email: leejosepho@hotmail.com
Forum: http://xsorbit28.com/users5/restored/