Expert: Joseph Lee O. - 10/3/2008

Question
Hello Joseph,

I am a 30 year old female who has been drinking 1-2 bottles of wine per day for the last 2 years.  Recently, I have pain in my liver and finally it occured to me that continuing with this abuse will result in death.  I have a screening for an intensive outpatient program next Friday--I wish it were today.  I can go days without alcohol and then, BAM!  I am back in it.

I know that you are not a doctor, but I am sure that you know a lot about alcoholism and its awful aftermath--do you think that my liver pain could indicate that I am dying of Cirrhosis?  I have 2 beautiful little girls and a wonderful husband--I am not ready to die.

Thank you so much!

Jane

Answer
Greetings to you, Jane.

You have written:

>> I have pain in my liver ... do you think my liver pain could indicate I am dying of Cirrhosis?

If I had a pain in my abdomen, I do not know how I would know whether it came from my liver.  Here is a web page you might find helpful:
http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C127905.html

You have written:

>> Recently, I have pain ... and finally it occurred to me that continuing with [drinking 1-2 bottles of wine per day] will result in death.

That is but one of three possible ways chronic alcoholism can end:
1) death;
2) permanent insanity (organic brain syndrome or “wet brain”);
3) permanent abstinence as attained through spiritual recovery.

Realizing we are presently headed toward the grave is a key component for coming up with a desire to stop drinking forever.  However, and as you seem to already know, having a desire to stop drinking is not enough to keep us from again doing so:

>> I can go days without alcohol and then, BAM!  I am back in it.

The “intensive outpatient program” you are considering is not going to be able to direct you toward a permanent solution.  In that kind of program, you will be given many reasons for not drinking, and you will be encouraged to stay away from the first drink just one day at a time since you cannot quit forever.  However, and as you also seem to already know, that “BAM!” you have mentioned cannot be overcome by logical thinking and trying to abstain one day at a time.  Rather, here is the deal we must overcome in order to live:

“We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year.  Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.
“For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether.  We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop.  Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not.  Many of us felt that we had plenty of character.  There was a tremendous urge to cease forever.  Yet we found it impossible.  This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.” (“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, page 34)

>> I have 2 beautiful little girls and a wonderful husband--I am not ready to die.

It sounds to me like you have a desire to stop drinking, and it also sounds like you are motivated to do whatever is required in order to be able to live without drinking.  If that is so, I would gladly do my best to help you understand and actually do the things that really work:

“If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.” (page 58)

Inpatient and outpatient programs abound, but there is only one program that truly works for real alcoholics, and that program can *only* be found in “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book:
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

Please know you are always welcomed to write.

Joseph Lee O.
Email: leejosepho@hotmail.com
Forum: http://xsorbit28.com/users5/restored/