Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 10/2/2008

Question
My husband has recently filed for a divorce.  He is an alcoholic, although he doesn't admit it.  I don't know why, but I do not want a divorce.  I am a christian and want to make my marriage work.  Please advise.  Thank you.

Answer
Hello Michaela,
First of all I respect your position about the divorce and wanting to make your marriage work. However, I do not know what advice I can give you with such little information. At least some of the problems you face involve legal matters that I cannot address as I do not practice law. If your husband is an alcoholic, by definition his behavior will be irrational and almost impossible to understand. The alcoholic's denial is often so powerful that he truly cannot see that alcohol is causing most of the difficulties in his life. Sometimes an alcoholic will grasp for excuses for his problems such as his marriage, perhaps saying to himself that if I end this marriage, I will be OK, and can drink without problems. I am just guessing here because I do not have enough information about your situation. As I usually do, I recommend you check out Al-Anon, the 12 Step Program for those who love an alcoholic: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ You can also go to my website for more help: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com/FamilyAddictionsCounselingonline.html
Good luck.
Jan Edward Williams, MS, JD, LCADC
www.alcoholdrugsos.com