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Addiction to Alcohol/Is my husband a alcoholic
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Hi really need your inputs. My husband likes to have a few drinks every evening after work. This has been going on for years. Not that I have ever seen him get drunk in all these years there is also no change in his attitude or behavior after he drinks. He is generally a very kind and loving person and we are just worried that about 200ml of vodka every evening must be doing some harm inside his body. Other than the health concern his drinking has never really had any effect on our lives as he would always be more than willing to take the family out and spend time with the kids and drink only after the kids are asleep. Also let me inform you that he has been doing this for the last 10 years. My main concern is his health for now there are no symptoms or side effects showing but what about the future is this a real cause for me to be concerned or am I being paranoid.
Greetings to you, Sonu.
You have written:
>> Is my husband an alcoholic
>> ... likes to have a few drinks every evening after work ...
>> Not that I have ever seen him get drunk ...
>> ... 200ml of vodka every evening must be doing some harm inside his body.
First, here is an excerpt from "Alcoholics Anonymous", the book:
"... a certain type of hard drinker ... may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time ...
"But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink." (pages 20-21)
Personally, and in the absence of out-of-control drinking, I would not consider your husband an alcoholic. At the same time, however, it could be said he is “alcoholic” in a mental or emotional sense – even if not “an alcoholic” in the physical sense – if he either could not or would not stop drinking after being told of any damage being done by his drinking. And along that kind of line, here is more of the above excerpt:
“... a certain type of hard drinker ... may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. [But if] a sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.”
You have asked:
>> Is this a real cause for me to be concerned or am I being paranoid.
A good doctor would be far more qualified than I to answer that kind of question after examining your husband’s present physical condition, but please know you are always welcomed to write.
Joseph Lee O.
Email: leejosepho@hotmail.com
Forum: http://xsorbit28.com/users5/restored/
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Answers by Expert:
Joseph Lee O.
Expertise
Greetings to you! Amidst the insufficiency of all the philosophical, religious and “self-help” approaches to relief from chronic alcoholism, I have personally experienced the content of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book. Thus, I can now explain at least the essence of the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic's inherent condition and plight, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required and how it works and how to attain one.
Experience
The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had "no effective mental defense against the first drink" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 43), and took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of homemade wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done; it had seemingly "fixed" something inside me I had not even known was broken.
Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that came along.
At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the dangers of continuing to drink had become too undeniable for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive an inescapable drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as in days past, but something had seemingly "taken over" my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while completely overwhelmed by the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and I quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said, thought or did even just "one day at a time", I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I remain abstinent for very long at all ... and such is the physical "allergy" (where one drink takes another) coupled with alcoholism’s mental-emotional obsession for the effect of alcohol ...
... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma - my complete personal powerlessness - and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I "could not drink even if [I] would" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.
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