Expert: Rebos - 2/12/2008

Question
I had been married to my husband for 17 years and dealt with allot of verbal, some physical abuse among many other situations. My husband almost died in 2006 and was told if he ever drank again he would die. When my husband became sober it was just as bad and he ended up having an affair. I now have divorced him because of this other person. He now is alone drinking himself to death and still involves me with guilt wanting to come back home? Question to you is did I turn my back on him or did I do the right thing? I didn't want to make him worse but could not watch it anymore.

Answer
Good evening Ann and thank you for your question.

Yes I do believe that you did do the right thing! Under no circumstances should you allow him back into your house! However, even though you are no longer married to the man I do believe that you should start to attend Alanon meetings or at a minimum find your self a good counselor that specializes in alcoholism and I feel certain that she will also direct you to Alanon. Alanon is where YOU will get better. What you need is to listen to others who are or have been in a similar situation that you are now in and have found an answer to their problem. I guarantee that if you attend Alanon regularly, and work on your self…YOU will get better. Alanon can be reached by calling: 1-800-344-2666 (United States) or 1-800-443-4525 (Canada).

If I can be of further help please send me a follow-up. Thank you Rebos.