Expert: Clyde - 2/5/2008

Question
I HAVE BEEN IN AA ABOUT 3 MONTHS.......I AM A GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC.....EVERYONE STRESS A SPONSER IN OUR GROUP......WHERE IN THE BIG BOOK DOES THIS CONCEPT  OF HAVING A "SPONSER".......EMPHASISED....I UNDERSTAND(STEP 12) HELPING AN ALCOLIC IS A PRIME SERVICE FUNCTION TO HELP THE ALCOHOLIC RECOVERY.....WHY CANT I JUST BRING UP ISSUES IN THE MEETING.......(WITHOUT MONOPOLIZING THE MEETING) OR EVEN BETTER TALK TO DIFFERENT MEMBERS OF BY GROUP PRIVATELY AND GET DIFFERENT PROSPECTIVES ON ISSUES I AM DEALING WITH AT THAT TIME...THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE
EVELYN

Answer
Evelyn,
    Thank you for your question.  It is a good one.  I do not believe that there is a specific reference to the notion of "sponsor" in the Big Book but it is implied in all the wisdom you will continue to find there.

    It is my opinion that sponsorship is necessary in order that a person may be truly open-minded, honest, and willing.  It is a relationship built so that the recovering alcoholic is held accountable to someone other than themselves.  I will lie to myself if I allow "me" to make my decisions alone.  I did that for 20 years of drinking and I can still do that in sobriety.  I have done that in sobriety!

     Step five says that we admitted to God, ourselves and "another human being" the exact nature of our wrongs. If I have done a good job of understanding the fact that I must be totally honest with a person in step 5, then I should be willing always to share my self and thoughts and ideas with someone else.  Easier said than done.

     I understand how this concept can be scary and one that we would like to bypass but I do not suggest that someone in recovery skimp at this very vital principle of honesty.  Secrets we want to carry to our graves will kill us for I believe that we will drink to push them back into the dark.  They must be exposed.

     There are some very good pamphlets produced by AA explaining the sponsor/sponsee relationship.  I suggest that you get one of these and prayerfully consider the message it offers.

      Thanks again for the question, congratulations on 90 days, and write again if you have further questions.

Grace and peace,

Clyde