AboutJan Edward Williams Expertise all questions related to drug or alcohol addiction, except those requiring the expertise of a physician or those relating to mental health problems apart from addiction. See my web site: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com
Experience I have been working as a licensed addictions counselor for 28 years and am in recovery myself for 30 years
Organizations Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors Maryland
Maryland Addictions Professional Certification Board
Education/Credentials MS Counseling
Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Maryland
Question My b/f and i have been together better then 10 years. And he has been drinking most of that time. Which there should of been a clue, yes.... here to learn what as a g/f i can do to see what i need to do to get him to see his drinking does affect other people. His work and such. He goes though fazes in drinking. when i first met him, it was a daily thing. every day he had to drink. then soon later, he went though a faze of not drinking that much. would drink like once a month. then went though another faze of every day, now its down to about 3 times a week. about.....give or take a day each week. When he does drink, he can't stop with just one beer.when he drinks.
the most i want to do is keep him from driving. i rather argue with him for talking the keys then finding him laying dead some where. making this long story short. there is reasons why we are together and parting may not be a road to take.and i rather too be a support for his recovery. but what can i do as a g/f to get his to realize his drinking problem.
Answer Hello Robin3,
I am pleased you are seeking help for your b/f's drinking. I know that it's hard to ask for help for such a problem. You didn't give me a lot of information about the negative effects of your b/f's drinking, but the fact that his drinking causes problems in your relationship, that he can't stop after the first beer, and that his drinking is affecting his work, strongly indicate he's an alcoholic. Unfortunately, usually, the only way an alcoholic decides to stop drinking is because his drinking has caused a lot of pain and consequences in his life. It would be important to talk with him, when he is sober, about his drinking and how it hurts you. If there are any other people in your b/f's life who have seen the bad effects of his drinking, it would help to have them also tell him how his drinking affects them. I also suggest that you check out Al-Anon, the Twelve Step meetings for persons who love an alcoholic: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/, and go to some meetings; there you can learn how not to enable his drinking (not protect him, but allow him to experience the negative consequences of his drinking), and get some support for yourself. Good luck.
