AboutJan Edward Williams Expertise all questions related to drug or alcohol addiction, except those requiring the expertise of a physician or those relating to mental health problems apart from addiction. See my web site: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com
Experience I have been working as a licensed addictions counselor for 29 years and am in recovery myself for 31 years
Organizations Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors Maryland
Maryland Addictions Professional Certification Board
Education/Credentials MS Counseling
Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Maryland
Expert: Jan Edward Williams Date: 3/10/2008 Subject: will my husbands drinking get worse?
Question I have been married to my husband for 3 years and we have a 2 year old son together. in the time that I've known him he has always been a drinker. at one point,the stress of life and having my mother live with us seemed to increase his drinking substantially to the point that he had a DUI and lost his job and i had to leave him.he then spent about 2 months in AA, and swore it would never happen again. he still drinks a few beers now and again, probably one every other day if i had to average it. he knows that i am still uneasy about his drinking so he wont tell me every time he does it. he has gotten drunk twice in the past year, but not to the degree that he used to. i am still very unhappy about him drinking at all, and he knows it, but he assures me that he will never get drunk like that again. what i want to know, is will his one beer here and there escalate, because so far it has become more frequent then i would like it to be. again, he is not getting drunk, but the fact that it is so often in the week bothers me. the discussions we have are dead ended, because he feels that as long as he is not getting drunk, there is no problem. as a result, he feels he has to lie because it makes me so angry. will his drinking just get worse?
Answer Hello Lisa,
I always congratulate a person such as you who decides to seek help for an alcohol problem that is causing tension in a relationship, because I know how hard it is to do so; I commend you. The answer to your question, "will your husband's drinking get worse", can only be stated this way: if he is an alcoholic, his drinking over time will get worse; he will lose control and experience negative consequences. It sure sounds as if your husband is an alcoholic, though I hesitate to make such a long distance diagnosis. A DUI, loss of a job, and a separation from one's wife, all due to drinking, are strong indicators of a problem. Every alcoholic is driven by the disease of alcoholism to attempt to drink without negative consequences; most are unable to do so. I cannot advise you on any specific action to take except to take care of yourself and your son. If there are no negatives attached to your husband's drinking, including no negative personality change, no effects on his work, no driving under the influence, etc., and the reason that you are concerned is solely based on his past behaviors, it would be difficult to convince your husband that he needs to stop drinking. So, I suggest a wait and see approach, making it clear to your husband that any negatives from his drinking are unacceptable. You will need to examine yourself to figure out what the consequences will be if your husband's drinking does cause problems (for example, a separation). You may wish to attend some meetings of Al-Anon: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/. Good luck.
