Expert: Clyde - 3/2/2008

Question
My husband has a serious drinking problem, over 20 yrs and was a highly functional alcoholic.  He started to spiral in January 2007; in Jan '08 - he entered a 4 day detox program, which was insufficient but 2 days ago he entered another program and plans to stay 25+ days.  I'm confident we are on a sound course, however I am concerned that I might have unrealistic expectations once my husband returns home.  What are the typical mistakes made or encountered by a wife in my similar situation?

(PS prior to spiraling, he was an absolute joy)

Answer
Donna,
     Thank you for your question.  I have a suggestion immediately and then would ask that you send in another question or two if you have any other concerns.  I am not putting you off on this one by not answering now but the resource I suggest is just too good and I won't try to emulate the wisdom there.
  
     The resource is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous entitled, "Alcoholics Anonymous."  You can pick one up real cheap on the Internet at ABE.com or Amazon.com.  The ISBN # is 0916856003.
If you have a Half Price Books close by, you'll probably find one on the shelves there as well for $5.00 or so.  Then there are Central Offices of AA all around the country where you could purchase one for about $7.50.  Look them up in the white or yellow pages.  

     In that text, written in 1939, you will find a chapter entitled "To Wives" and one entitled "The Family Afterwards."  This explains the practical side of having a sober person around when once they were the drunk.

     Hope this helps.

Grace and Peace,
Clyde