Expert: Rebos - 3/29/2008

Question
I have been in recovery for awhile but my family refuses to go to al-anaon any suggestions?  They still operate from the using addict not the sober one?

Answer
Good morning Dana and thank you for your question. You failed to mention how long you have been sober, or if you are in Alcoholics Anonymous or some other recovery program. If you are in AA, I assume that you have a sponsor and that you have discussed your family situation with him or her.

Never-the-less, remember the only one that you have control over… is you! If you are working your program, that job should be more than enough for you to handle. How long were “you out there” before you did anything about your drinking problem? You are not in control and that’s where you have gone off the AA way “to let go and let God”. You must remember that even when you approach someone to make a 9th step amend… the person may not accept your need to make an amend, but that’s okay as long as you try to make the amend. I guess what I’m trying to tell you is… for you to continue working your recovery program and stop trying to control a situation that you have no business getting involved in. You can be a power of example by you changing through working the 12 steps to recovery and being the best example of how AA really can work.

I’m sure that you knew how I was going to answer your question. Thank you Rebos