Expert: Rebos - 4/13/2008

Question
More than one year ago,short after my separation, I met a very nice guy,and are since then together,as friends and lovers.Recently I discovered that my best friend is an alcoholic.Initially I ignored the clear signs;I wasn't sure and he had quit drinking at all for a short time. Nobody from his family is doing anything about this.IFirst I was shocked and scared,because I don't wanted new problems in my life,but now I know for sure that I won't let him down. I want to help him,but it is not easy,because he denies having a problem.I don't know how to behave: if I'm worried about him destroying himself,he says he can't take the discussions anymore and get even more frustrated.If I treat him in a natural way,pretending everything is good, we have fun,but deep in my soul I know that this won't help him in a long run.
What should I do? I really want to help him.
Thank you for your patient to read my e-mail.
Sincerely,
Tina

Answer
Good afternoon Tina and thank you for your question.

Since you have made up your mind to "stick by your man", the only suggestion that I can give you is to start attending Alanon meetings. If you don't go on a continual basis then you will remain ignorant about the disease of alcoholism and your relationship with your boyfriend.  will become very trying to say the least. It's interesting that most addicts don't want to discuss their problem. At Alanon meetings you will find out what you can do to help your boyfriend, by first learning to help yourself. Until you are armed with the right information about the disease and its implications, your efforts to help him will be for nothing. Alanon can be reached by calling: 1-800-344-2666 (United States) or 1-800-443-4525 (Canada). Thank you Rebos