Expert: Druideck - 4/9/2008

Question
Hello,

I am writing to you regarding my ex-husband who is an alcoholic.  We have been divorced for about 2 years now and we have a 10 year old child.

At the end of our marriage my huband wound up hospitalized at Chicago Lakeshore Hospital (a psychiatric hospital that specializes in addiction) on 4 different occasions.  Prior to that my husband was attending AA, however, he never reqlly quit drinking.

According to what I hear my husband attends AA daily, has a sponsor and is staying sober.  I hope for his sake that this is true.

My question has to do with co-occuring mental illness along with his alcoholism.  I was thinking about him today and feeling tremendous amounts of guilt that I abandoned him.  While hospitalized the first time the Psychiatrist and the Conselors told me that he was in denial.  They also told me that they were giving him Risperdrol to clear up his thinking.  They thought there was a chance he may be schizoprenic.  They did say there was no way to really tell unless he got sober.  The psychiatrist also told me that he was still able to make decisions for himself, could still drive and work.  I was ready to sign papers to have him committed to try and protect him from himself.

How common is it for end stage alcholism to mimic schizoprenia?  How to I learn to get over the guilt that I feel about this?

Answer
Carol,

late stage alcoholism can mimic alot
of mental problems.
Some people damage their brain cells
irreversibly. This is called "wet brain"
or is part of Korsekoffs syndrome.
Memory loss is possible as well
as many other mental and physical
problems.
Sometimes people have illness that
are only aggravated by the drinking.
When they quit drinking they still
have to deal with the mental illness they
have or other brain damage.

Alcoholism is a trying illness for anyone
to deal with. Whether you are the alcoholic
or the family it is a terrible strain
on relationships.
Recovering alcoholics have enough to handle
even without having a wife or children
to cope with. Believe me, you need not
feel guilty for taking care of yourself
and your child under these circumstances.
He may even feel some relief that
he could channel all his energy into
recovery. My wife left me before I
could recover. Later when I was more
stable I was able to reconcile with her.
Guilt is often an after effect
of living with an alcoholic.
It seems to dictate that there
is some way we can control this illness
or the need to distance ourself
from the active drinker.
This illness is no ones fault and
it is primarily the alcoholic
that needs to get help and maintain
his sobriety. This he needs to do alone
with support groups like AA.
It is a lifetime effort to recover and
stay sober. Blame the illness but not yourself.
You did enough and your guilt is a normal
reaction to a regrettable problem.