AboutDruideck Expertise All questions are important,
I have over 22 years of personal experience with alcoholism and recovery issues.
Advanced Counsellor Training / Experience with treatment and AA.
Experience Over 22 years of recovery from alcoholism.
Counsellor in an alcohol outpatient office.
Experience as client and as counsellor in treatment center.
Education/Credentials Advanced counsellor certificate,
Melbourne ORYGEN Research Centre volunteer consultant
Question Hi, I was wondering if you could help me figure if my husband is an alcoholic or not?
I think he is but he insists he is not.
For over 30 years now, my husband drinks every night. I don't think he ever missed one night except when he was violently ill from food poisoning. He drinks about 6-7+ beers a night and also might have a hard drink also. He also smokes just a "bit" of pot to relax. He gets up every day and goes to work so therefore he does not believe he is an alcoholic. He really is not violent but does get crabby or just plain laid back and dopey and talks slurred of which makes me annoyed cause he is not available to talk about important household discussions.
I am especially upset cause he spends so much money on booze, he is probably ruining his health (he has osteoporosis), he is setting a bad example to our 2 teen kids, (he also buys booze for his mother and also for our 27 year son). He yells at me when I try to talk with him about how I think he drinks too much and how he is setting a bad example to our children; making it like he is perfectly normal having a few drinks every night.
I am very worried that all the hard work that we have built over the past 30 years will end up in disaster of either he will get DWI or some mental/physical illness due to his excessive drink. Also it is so much money spent down the drain!!!
Just don't know what to do or if his drinking is "normal"??
Sue
Answer Sue,
drinking every day is a sure sign of
alcohol dependence. Whether he
can quit without help at this point is debatable.
Alcohol is a chemical, you can not drink
large amounts of it and expect that
it will not affect your health and your
behaviour. Denial is especially strong
when someone does not want to be bothered
about their excessive drinking.
Of course he wants to turn the tables and
make it look like you have a problem.
I believe your concerns are real and
unfortunately if he is not ready to look
at his drinking and the consequences it has
there is little you can do. Trying to talk
sense into him will only leave you
angry, frustrated and hurt.
Try totally backing off if you can
so he can experience some uncomfortable
results of his drinking. He may have to run
into alot of trouble before he will consider
getting help or quitting. That is the nature
of being "hooked" on pot or alcohol.
There is nothing normal about the amount he
is consuming. "Normal" people can take it
or leave it alone depending on their
situations. "Normal" people have problems too
but they don't resort to excess drinking
as a fix. They learn to cope with stress
in healthy ways.
