AboutDruideck Expertise All questions are important,
I have over 22 years of personal experience with alcoholism and recovery issues.
Advanced Counsellor Training / Experience with treatment and AA.
Experience Over 22 years of recovery from alcoholism.
Counsellor in an alcohol outpatient office.
Experience as client and as counsellor in treatment center.
Education/Credentials Advanced counsellor certificate,
Melbourne ORYGEN Research Centre volunteer consultant
Expert: Druideck Date: 4/18/2008 Subject: Son's Alcoholism and Drugs
Question My son is 27 and is in a serious situation. He has used drugs and alcohol for years, and will quit one addiction only to replace it with a new one. The alcohol is constant. He doesn't eat for days, has been diagnosed with severe liver damage, and is also bi-polar. He doesn't remember things, acts delusional, and I think sometimes hallucinates.Of course his Dr. has recommended rehab, but he refuses to do anything.He says all the rehabs and 12 steps are a "crutch", and absolutely won't have anything to do with any of it.Is there a way to have him legally commited to some kind of program without his permission? He's taking paxil for the bi-polar, but it seems to have made things worse. I don't know if it's the wrong meds, or if it's because of the extreme drinking. He's using 100 proof alcohol from the time he gets up, until he passes out,only sleeping 3-4 hours daily.Very bizarre behavior such as talking to himself and "people" who aren't there
Answer Jennifer,
this a difficult question because the answers
are few. Your son has drank himself into
what is possibly late stage alcoholism
and the mental confusion that surrounds it.
The thing that keeps him drinking is
a obscession and compulsion driven by
extreme denial of his problem.
He is headed for insanity or death
if he refuses to get help.
The "crutch" he refers to helped
me to quit drinking and to stay
sober for 22 years so far.
He is past the point of choosing
whether he drinks or not, he is
addicted and dependent on alcohol.
This illness is what drives his
denial and keeps him drinking.
The solution is for him to accept
that he is very ill and needs help.
Unfortunatly he has to choose recovery
rather than insanity or death for himself.
It takes a levelling of the false pride
that refuses to listen to anyone else.
It takes giving up that he will ever
control his drinking and surrender
to a recovery program like the 12 steps.
Make sure you only contribute to helping
him recover. Give up any behaviour that
protects him from the consequnces of
his behaviour. Let him hit bottom
hard enough to help him see he has to change
or die. Information will not sober
him up nor will more loving actions.
Try to get some information from your
local drug counsellors, Al-Anon
and get him to start reading if you can
the "Big Book" of AA.
I suggest you read chapter 3 at least online here: http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm
Reading this is important as it plants the
seeds of recovery in a person's mind which
may start to break the denial at some point.
He will recognize himself in the stories
and identify that he is one of us.
Tell him to write to me as I have been
at that lonely place as well.
