Expert: Amarnath.B - 4/21/2008

Question
Hi,
Well a little over 3 years ago i left my common law husband of 15 years do to his very heavy alcoholism and the horrible things that go alond with that, for two years after i left he would get drunk every night,telling me everyday he loves me and the kids and that he wanted to come home. a year ago he met a girl and moved in with her after only two weeks. they were married after a year of living together. he claims that he is able to drink now without getting drunk like he use to , he says that he has only gotten drunk 5 times since he moved away. i find this so hard to beleive. he says that his mind is set not to get drunk. could you please give me your advice on this do you beleive that someone with horrible alcoholism is able to just stop getting drunk. this kinda hurts becauce if he was able to do that why didnt he do that for me and our kids?
thank you for your time.

Answer
Dear Michele,

I am sorry that you had to go thru' trying times with your ex-husband.  Michele, after all that you've said about your husband's drinking pattern, either your husband is lying or his new wife has accepted his alcoholism.  Alcoholism is a disease which cannot be cure but arrested by completely stopping drinking.  There might be other emotional factors also.  Maybe he was not an alcoholic but a hard drinker who can cut down on drinks if they need to do so.  Michele unless I get a complete picture of your husband's drinking pattern then and now I really cannot come to any conclusion or give you any advice.

God bless


Amarnath