AboutDerek Johnson Expertise Any behavior in which you are compelled to engage in when you do not want to can lead to an addiction.
Experience I offer counseling (http://www.kasamba.com/derek-johnson) of all types -drugs, alcohol, sexual, anger, depression, co-dependency, anxiety, grief, stress, eating disorders, distortions of thought, compulsions, mood disorders, controlling behaviors, inferiority, marriage and family, motivation, life coaching, relapse prevention and recovery counseling- from an eclectic approach.
My abilities are being refined daily by supervising a counseling center that offers counseling to 120 clients. I have 10 years of direct care in all counseling arenas. I also have 2 years experience working with the mentally handicapped. Additionally, I have 2 years experience in Marriage and Family relationship issues. I have personally and unfortunately experienced sexual abuse, a suicide attempt and many addictions. This gives me a unique perspective in helping others.
Organizations Teen Challenge of Florida Florida Certification Board International Society for Mental Health Online International Certification & Reciprocity Consortium
Education/Credentials Certified Mental Health Professional # 50190 (MA)/ Certified Addiction Professional #3279 (MA) / Bachelor of Science in Psychology and Sociology / Internationally Certified Counselor #24570 / Certified by the Florida Certification Board / Certified by International Certification & Reciprocity Consortium / NET Institute Diploma for Counseling and Addiction Studies.
Expert: Derek Johnson Date: 5/13/2008 Subject: My BF is a recovering alcoholic
Question I have been with my boyfriend for 14 months now. He is 51 and has been drinking since the age of 20 with a couple years here and there of sobriety. He has gone through rehab various times throughout his life. Attended AA but never thought it was for him. He has had very few relationships in his life with the longest lasting 3 years. He is a wonderful & kind man and I love him deeply. He has always been completely truthful with me and never denied his problems. I met him while he was drinking and he was entering a very bad period of binge drinking. After seeing the worst I broke it off. After a month of not seeing or talking to him he stopped. He went through all the withdrawal on his own and called me after a week. He has been sober now for 12 months. in June. The problem is that sometimes he talks about being able to drink occasionally and that as long as he is with me he know's he could control it. He said over his life that when ever he was in a relationship the drinking never got out of control. I have told him consistently that I would not stay with him if he drinks and I think that has for now kept him from crossing over the line. We are having problems with intimacy. He is never the one to initiate it nor is he attentive to my needs. I am always the one to initiate & please him and it is over quite quickly. We finally discussed it this past weekend. Apparently it is bothering him as much as me. He said he doesn't know why and that he has been wondering what I have been thinking is the reason. He said its not that he is not sexually attracted to me or any known reason for it. Then he stated he thinks its because all of his relationships have included drinking and that he thinks w/o drinking he does not enjoy or know how to turn that switch back on because he has never been in a sober relationship. I am very much afraid of the fact that he will use this reason to drink to fix what is wrong in this field even though I have never complained about it he knows that I am yearning for his affection. I don't know what to do if he tries to talk me into letting him try to drink occasionally. Do I walk away as I have always intended to do if he were to go back to drinking? Do I see if he's right and he can control it? I don't want to loose him he is the love of my life but I have seen what he has been in the past and I'm so scared.
Answer Hi Patricia, people steeped in the deception of addictions will use any clever sounding rationalizations to justify their using. This seems to be the case here.
Looking at all of the damage that drinking has caused this man over the years, why would he even want to see and believe that he can control it? Why even take the risk? It is simply another justification that is unfounded in reality.
I would say stick to what you have said all along. If you do not and allow him to fall into this deception it will go array. And you will have no ground to stand on when it does.
