Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 5/27/2008

Question
my mothers leg was broken by the amblancemen who did not strap her in the seat propley then the doctor sent her home againest the familys wishes no help at home fell out of the bed reamited to hospital now in a nursing home for six weeks then we hope she gets well enough to go home lots of wrongs discharge papers got lost we where not told anything till i blew my top at the hospital at a meeting still full of anger this happened 4 weeks ago trying to let go but it keeps comming back iam 8years 8 months sober thank you eddy

Answer
Hello eddy,
Feelings of anger in response to your mother's situation would be  normal no matter how long you've been sober. However, to be still bothered by intense feelings 4 weeks later, means, to me, that you have work to do on yourself. As you know, resentments, if not resolved, can lead to serious recovery problems, even relapse. Have you ever heard of self-talk? That term refers to the thinking we do all the time. We feel the way we think, especially when the feelings are not the result of a spontaneous reaction to an event, but are clearly, as in this case, the result of thinking about the situation over, and over, and over. So, the idea is to monitor how you are thinking and interrupt the thoughts as soon as they come into your awareness. Thus, when you find yourself thinking about, and getting upset about, your mother's situation, interrupt the process by saying something like: "wait, I turned that over already", or say to yourself, "wait, I can't handle it; God, you take it." Doing that over and over instead of entertaining the thoughts and anger, may help you to let go of the problem. Good luck.