Expert: Clyde - 5/26/2008

Question
dating a man for 6 months, he has been sober for 11  years.He seems to have an addictive personality.  He stills
attends many AA meetings a week.  He will go  to a meeting  instead of seeing me.  He also has addictions  to certain  foods, when I mention this he then stops the food.   He seems to miss out on alot of things  in life. He does listen  to me when I suggest some  things.  He  is  also a Scorpio  which doesn't help.

Answer
Lorraine,
    Thank you for your comments about your boyfriend's behavior.

     Many alcoholics thrive on the meetings of AA.  It may appear to be "addictive" but it really is more of a social community thing.  We get sober and find that others are there to help us do that.  We form friendships and bonds for a lifetime and we continue to meet a meetings for one another.  AA meetings are important for the individual but more importantly we want to be there for the new person who walks through the doors wanting to be helped as well.

     Sobriety for an alcoholics is nothing short of a gift from God.  I am sure that your boyfriend must feel the same way.  Be thankful that he continues to go and don't be threatened by what appears to be lack of attention to your needs.

     We would miss out on the best part of our lives if we stopped going to meetings - helping the alcoholic who still suffers.

     As far as food goes, yes, we do sometimes find ourselves overindulging in certain foods or other destructive behaviors.  We sometimes use the phrase, "If a little is good, 10 times more is better." That is not true in most cases so when our loved ones point that out it is welcomed (usually) because we always need to be aware of what we may be doing subconsciously.

   Hope this helps,

Grace and Peace,
Clyde