Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 6/3/2008

Question
Hi I just have a quick question. I have been married for about 8 months and I think my husband has a problem with drinking. He use to want to drink everynight then I got so tired of it we would only drink a 6 pack when he did drink. Depending on where we were he would try to drink more than 6 because he always says 6 doesnt do anything for him it is not enough. I asked him why he thought he needed to drink and he said stress and just to take the edge off of stuff, which didnt make much sense to me. So just tonight I took our two children to the park came back home to find that he had drank some liquor. I said did you get into the other bottle cause you act like you are really drunk he kept telling me no. Finally he confessed that he did and just filled it back up with water so it wouldnt look like he did. He then told me the E&J just wasnt enough he had to have more that is why he got into the Gin bottle. He tells me he has a drinking problem only when he is really wasted can you tell me does it sound like he has a problem, and what can I do

Answer
Hello Chelsie,
Your situation is a difficult one, but it is a healthy sign that you are asking for help. Often people hesitate to talk about a drinking problem in a loved one. It DOES sound as if your husband has a problem, though I would need more information to diagnose him as alcoholic. His high tolerance, being untruthful and hiding his drinking, drinking to deal with feelings and stress, and the fact that drinking is causing tension in your relationship, all indicate a problem with alcohol. You may wish to talk with him about his drinking when he is sober, and tell him you are concerned and suggest that, if he can't cut back to 3-4 beers or drinks 2-3 times a week, that he should seek an evaluation from an addictions counselor and get some help. I also suggest you check out Al-Anon for your own support; Al-Anon is the 12 Step program for those in a relationship with an alcoholic: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ In Al-Anon you can get support for yourself and also learn how to act in a way that does not give your husband an excuse to continue to drink. Good luck.
Jan Williams
www.alcoholdrugsos.com