Expert: Druideck - 6/7/2008

Question
After almost thirty years of marriage my husband has started to drink.  I am really upset. Both my parents were alcoholics and I never would have married my husband if I thought there would be a chance of him drinking too much.  He now seems to want to get drunk when he drinks.  It's not just about social drinking.  Please tell me what to do. He even wants me to drink with him.  I am not doing that.  In the past we had never had cocktails during the week but now he is.
Thanks for your help.
Nancy

Answer
Good day,

this is unfortunate but he is an adult so
he can decide to drink or not drink.

I think if he wants to drink you just
have to tell him how serious you feel
about this and why it bothers you.

If he is unwilling to change his
behaviour you then have to decide
what you will do, let him know and
stick to your decision until
you know what his choice is.

He has decided to drink and in the end
we can not control other people.
Even if he was dying from alcoholism
the decision to change must
come from within.

If this is what he wants to do there
is little chance of him stopping
unless he does not like the consequences
of it. One of the consequences will
be what you decide to do if he continues.

If you decide to stay around him while
he drinks you will have to give up
being angry or it will hurt you more than he.

If he will stop out of respect for your
feelings, good for him. If not, you
will have to decide how far you want
to take it.

I know it is hard but these things
have no easy solution.

Druideck