Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 7/8/2008

Question
Hi Jan,
Do not know where to begin as never used this type of help before but here goes. I have a serious drink problem,and now i am trying to correct it i have been attending AA meetings for a few months when at home (Iwork overseas) I had the support of a great wife and i am blessed with a fantastic family which now i have now lost.Staying of the drink is not a problem when i am at work or when i was with my family.I have hurt my wife so many times in the past with promises etc that now she has no trust in me what so ever how can i get her to see i am making the effort and while i can accept ther may be no future for us how do i get her respect back so i can at least be friends.
Regards and thanks
Doug Kerr

Answer
Hello Doug,
I applaud your deciding you have a problem and being willing to get help. Staying sober and demonstrating a stable personal and employment life can demonstrate to you and your family that you have changed, but all of that takes time. There is no guarantee that your wife will accept you back even if you stay sober. I suggest that you not condition your sobriety on getting your family back, as important as that is to you, but that you concentrate on maintaining sobriety for yourself and addressing the personal issues you have that may need to be resolved for you to stay sober. Even overseas you can work on recovery. Check out my web site for online help.
Jan Williams
www.alcoholdrugsos.com