AboutDruideck Expertise All questions are important,
I have over 22 years of personal experience with alcoholism and recovery issues.
Advanced Counsellor Training / Experience with treatment and AA.
Experience Over 22 years of recovery from alcoholism.
Counsellor in an alcohol outpatient office.
Experience as client and as counsellor in treatment center.
Education/Credentials Advanced counsellor certificate,
Melbourne ORYGEN Research Centre volunteer consultant
Expert: Druideck Date: 7/8/2008 Subject: can I forgive?
Question My experience of living and then leaving my alcoholic wife was shocking and leaves unresolved problems. Please , please read attached........I'll send separately
Robert
Answer Robert,
sorry, I only received this short message of yours
so I can not respond well to your questions.
Are these unresolved problems involving your
wife or just you?
If you are experiencing anger or guilt that
is part of letting go or grieving a loss.
I expect you feel very hurt by the whole
experience. It takes time for hurt, anger
and guilt to resolve themselves.
The feelings may lessen and then reassert themselves.
Gradually we come to see how ill our
alcoholic spouse was. Maybe we demanded more
than they were able to give due to their
ill condition.
Maybe the hurt is really our demands of how
things and people should be rather than
how they really are.
Letting go of our strict demands or expectations
for people helps the hurt to fade in time.
We see them as ill people not people that
tried to hurt us. It is easier to forgive
an illness.
