Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 8/6/2008

Question
My husband of 18 years has not had a drink in 5 days.  He has not gone to AA nor wants to.  We have a very social life that involves drinking at most functions.  He has done very well so far.  We live in NV so even going out to dinner entails walking past the bar (with his friends there asking to buy him a drink) He has said no!  Is it wrong for me to ask him if he would like to go to a concert this weekend with our friends where there will be alcohol?  Do we have to stay indoors by ourselves forever?

Answer
Hello Kymm,
It is difficult to answer a question with so few facts. I'll assume for the sake of this answer that your husband is an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a powerful disorder that can only rarely be overcome with just a decsion to stop drinking. Most alcoholics will do better with treatment, education, and support including 12 Step (AA) support. Even with treatment, education, and support, it is strongly suggested that the newly abstinent individual avoid drinking situations and friends with whom he used to drink. The urge to drink can be sudden and overwhelming and we often say that is a good strategy to "put some distance between you and the first drink." I also suggest that your husband tell his friends that he has decided to stop drinking; if they are truly friends they will respect his decision (unless they have alcohol problems themselves). Good luck.
Jan Williams
Licensed Addictions Counseling Online
www.alcoholdrugsos.com