Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 8/22/2008

Question
Hi,

My boyfriend recently moved out into his own appartement with his older brother.  Having this new freedom, he tends to party a lot more and drink more than he can afford. I wish I could help him.  I told him that I will be here for him, support him, seek him some help but he has been ignoring me for the past week.  He's never been like this. What should I do?

Answer
Hi Melly,
You don't give me much information to go on, but if your boyfriend is an alcoholic, your best approach is to let him know what evidence you have that he has a problem, that you support his stopping drinking and getting help, and do not support his continuing to drink. It is diffcult for an alcoholic to recognize a problem; addiction has a powerful hold and often blinds the individual to the fact that he has a problem. You may wish to check out Al-Anon, the 12 Step program for persons in a relationship with an alcoholic: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ There you can get support for yourself and learn how to avoid behaviors that unintentionally may give a message to your boyfriend that you will stick by him even if he is drinking alcoholically, hurting himself and you (which I would advise you not to do). Good luck.
Jan Williams, MS, JD, LCADC
Licensed Addictions Counseling Online
www.alcoholdrugsos.com