Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 8/8/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hi my name is marlene and I don't know if my boyfriend really is an alcoholic he usually drinks every other day or just on the weekends and when he does drink he tells me he usually drinks around 15 beers. He comes home late and drunk he's been like this for the past I'd say 5 or 6 years. He used to smoke pot all the time morning afternoon and night and when he finally decided to stop smoking pot he switched to beer. He's told me he wants to stop but its hard for him how can I help him stop and get back to his normal life?

ANSWER: Hello Marlene,
Your boyfriend is fortunate to have someone like you who is concerned about him and takes steps to help him. It sounds as if your boyfriend had a prior addiction to marijuana that he did not address, but just stopped using. As you suggest, he may be substituting alcohol for the marijuana. Even though he does not drink every day, his alcohol use does sound problematic in that he drinks excessively and has difficulty stopping; loss of control, a desire to stop drinking, and inability to control or stop, are signs of alcoholism. You do not say what negatives have happened due to his excessive drinking, for ex., blackouts, negative personality change, legal problems, job problems, or problems in your relationship with him (his drinking obviously cause you concern). Presence of any of these problems suggests alcoholism as well. I suggest your boyfriend seek counseling from a profeaaional addictions counselor and consider attending AA: http://www.aa.org/
Good luck,
Jan Williams
Licensed Addictions Counseling Online
www.alcoholdrugsos.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO ANSWER MY QUESTION. AS FOR THE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR HE'S ALWAYS HIMSELF WHEN HE IS DRINKING THE ONLY THING THAT CHANGES ABOUT HIM IS HIS MOOD THE NEXT DAY WHEN HE IS HUNGOVER OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOOD AND WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE IT STRONGER BUT I JUST WANT TO HELP HIM STOP OR AT LEAST HELP HIM CONTROL HIS DRINKING BECAUSE I DO CARE A LOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS FAMILY IS CONSTANTLY TELLING HIM THAT HE NEEDS TO STOP BUT HE NEVER SEEMS TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM ONLY ME SO THAT'S WHY I NEED TO HELP HIM.

Answer
Marlene,
As I said before, if your boyfriend is having trouble controlling his drinking or stopping drinking, he has a problem that may need to be addressed through counseling from an addictions expert. His prior problem with marijuana adds to the probablilty that he has an addiction problem that is now manifesting itself through alcohol. Although it is a good thing that you are asking for help on his behalf, I suggest that you talk to him about the need for HIM to seek help. Good luck,
Jan Williams
Licensed Addictions Counsleing Online
www.alcoholdrugsos.com