Expert: Amarnath.B - 9/7/2008

Question
What is the signs to look out for when someone drinks for days then gives it up for a few days. He wont admit to being an alcoholic. I have tryed to help but he promise to give it up and never does. He spends all his money then i pay his bills. Please tell me what to do and what to look out for also what signs to expect if if does give it up.

Answer
Dear Anne

By the description about the pattern of your partner's drinking I presume he is a binge drinker.  Binge drinking is also alcoholism though a person can stop for a few days after a heavy bout of drinking. Alcoholism is a disease of physical,mental,emotional,and spiritual.  It cannot be cured but can be arrested by abstaining totally from drinking.  

The major signs you should be looking for is lying, projection, minimizing of one's problems, blaming others of their drinking,staying off from work,becoming unhygienic,and preoccupation of drinking all the time.  Self-deception and delusion culiminating in depressive episodes are common signs of alcoholism.  The person refuses to seek help justifying that he/she has no problem about drinking. Depending on how long your partner has been drinking, I suggest he see a alcoholic counselor.  Short term rehab is suggested.  Also, to stay sober and stay stopped, he should attend AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings.  Millions have recovered from alcoholism through AA. If and when your partner stops drinking, you should check for signs of depression,loneliness, and anger which is most common in people who stop drinking.  This is called dry drunk syndrome.

Once again, the only solution for his problem is AA and I also suggest you attend Al-Anon (self-help group for dependents of alcoholics)meetings where you will meet other co-dependents who have suffered from alcoholics in their lives.

Do mail me back about the progress and if you face any problems trying to sober your partner down.

God bless

Amarnath