Expert: Druideck - 9/29/2008

Question
I am in love with an alcoholic , I was raised by an alcoholic , and statistically I am an alcoholic myself . I drink socially at least twice a week to the point of drunkenness . I can have a few and then go home and go to bed I can also have a few more and close the bar go home and drink till 4 am .My main question is how can i Bring up going to AA and making our life together a different one . I do love alcohol ! I love the feeling I love the taste I even like being hangover .... Scary I know . But its almost nostalgic for me in a way . Growing up in the circus that I did and still living it in a way . My boyfriend of two years has a sever drinking problem , its important to him he is bored if hes not drinking and will pretty much do anything in his power to do it .. on the flip side he has weeks where he just wants to stay at home and snuggle and shut off from the rest of the world . Most of our friends are functioning alcoholics as well .. where do I start to find things that can take the place of he time we spend drinking ? I know that question may be stupid but I really cant find an answer . We are very social couple .

thank you for your time

Answer
Good day,

I know that drinking alcohol
especially to an alcoholic is
in the beginning at least a very
good feeling to experience.
I did not quit drinking because
I was feeling good however.
I kept drinking even when the
bad outweighed the good.
At that point I was addicted to
alcohol and could not stop even
when I tried with my best effort.

Since you grew up around drinking
you may feel like it is your "normal"
experience. Any other environment
is going to feel odd and like
a rubber band we always tend to
snap back to where we started.
This makes change difficult.

Alcoholics like to drink so much
that they develop a strong system
of denial. This can blind you to
the problems alcohol is causing in
your life.

Has alcohol or drunkeness interfered
with your peace of mind, relationships,
jobs, health, or plans for the future?
Have you had fines, jail or physical
fights because of drinking?
Have others complained about your
drinking or drunk behaviour?
Financial problems from drinking?

Take stock of what you have lost
and what you feel you gain
from drinking and decide if
it is worth it to quit.
Be honest with your assessment.

If you are tired of the lifestyle
and it's effects on your life
you may be ready to change.
If not you always have drinking
to go back to.

I was sure I would end up in jail
or insane or dead, that is why
I quit for good.
I could not see living the rest of
my life drunk, it just doesn't
work for me.

You can read up on alcoholism and
even go to AA meetings without
any permanent committment.
You can not force your boyfriend
to recover as that is something
he has to desire for himself.

You can overcome your past and
live life free of being in slavery to
a drink if you want it.

There are lots of things to do besides
drinking.
You can travel, go to school, visit
museums, eat out, go motorcycling,
boating, skiing.
Collect things, watch movies,
visit your friends without booze,
go to concerts, plays, ballet,
ride horses, learn archery,
ride bicycles, shopping etc.

You don't have to stop living
because you don't drink.
Life really opens up in sobriety
as you no longer spend time
buying booze, drinking it
and getting back home safely.
You will have much free time
to experience many new people and
new things, sober and sane things.