Expert: Clyde - 1/31/2009

Question
i want to leave my b/f his drinking is to much it is in his family starting at his father to both of his brothers all they do is work and drink my mother in law is a basket case because of it.. i dont want to end uo like her. but theres a big problem  we have a 2yr old and iam pregnant right now. i feel bad for taking my kids from him but if i dont i dont want them to become drinkers too . help what is the best thing to do ....and if i leave can i do it on my own?????????  

Answer
Kara,
    Thank you for your questions and for explaining some of the situation.  Let me first address the concern about the children - you can in no way judge at this time whether or not they will become alcoholics.  It is not something that will be known until such time as they make some decisions for themselves.  Certainly minimizing the influence on them at an early age is good but it will not protect them.

   Your second question regarding what to do and can you make it on your own - well, you have not given enough information.  I can suggest this - if your boyfriend has become violent and hurt you or the child, then, it is a serious situation which might require your taking drastic measures such as leaving.  You do not say how your relationship is with the boyfriend and that is an important factor here.  

   As far as making it on your own, it will depend on your skills and your job status and such.  You do not say enough about this.  As I said earlier, if he has become violent, it doesn't much matter whether you can make it on your own - leaving is the first thing and then you'll concern yourself about the future later.

    I hope this helps and write again if I may be of any further help.

Grace and Peace,
Clyde