Expert: Druideck - 1/2/2009

Question
My 50 year old brother is a sever alcoholic with cirrhosis of the liver and is in poor health. He was arrested 2 days ago and hauled off to jail for failing to show up for a court date. He has the $3000 bail money in his bank, should I bail him out. Will the time spent in jail now go toward his sentence? I'm afraid he might commit suicide if he gets out. Until 2 years ago he was a regular functioning, family man with a long time job. He had a major mental break down and now he's divorced, out of a job, living on his savings, spends his day drinking beer until he passes out. Now his liver is so bad that if he drinks too much he gets physically sick so he has cut back recently. He says he's dying. I'm afraid he will die in jail alone. HELP.

Answer
T,

I am not sure what your intentions
are toward your brother at this point
as he sounds like he has problems he
is unwilling to face or get help for.

Is he willing to talk to an alcohol
counsellor? He will die most likely
from his alcohol abuse if he refuses
to admit to needing help.

The unfortunate thing is that
you can not change him
if he refuses help.
Often it is people helping
that keeps alcoholics from facing
the reality of their situation.

If you bail him out he will likely
just keep drinking and missing
court. If he spends all his money
paying bail will you be there
to pick him up when he falls again?

Maybe it is time to let him experience
these problems he has created.
Then he might be beat enough to
admit he has a serious living
and drinking problem.

If you believe he needs medical attention
let the police know your concerns.
They can arrange for him to see someone.
Tell them of his medical problems.

You can bail him out but then what?
He is out and free to continue
his irresponsible behaviour.
Maybe in jail he can get some counselling?
You know him better than I so
this is just my opinion from
working with alcoholics.