Expert: Amarnath.B - 1/24/2009

Question
I have being sober since October and only on New Years did I drink. Then everything was okay. Then yesterday I bought some rum. I felt sick today, but tonight after the kids have gone to bed I am taking my 'medicine' again. I am just in so much emotional pain I can't explain, and alcohol is the only thing that takes it away. If I didn't have kids, I would honestly just drink, I would drink until I passed out and then I would wait up and do the same thing so it just didn't hurt. But of course I'm not allowed to do that and during the day I have to be sober.

I just am not coping, I am waiting for a certain phone call from a certain counselling organisation so that I can get counselling (not for alcoholism, for former abuse) and I am crumbling to a half, I just am in so much pain. Honestly, alcohol takes it all away. Takes away the broken relationships with people, the stress of every day, homework problems, problems with work and how much stress I have to get the number of sales the company needs, how to clean my house, how to make money, how to learn to trust people. How to stop the pain.

I'm sorry, it's just that I want to be sober, I hate it how it makes me feel int eh morning -- it's ruined my health and my psychology.....I just don't know what to do when it hurts so much!

Answer
Hello Nina,

I understand what kind of predicament you are in.  You are taking alcohol to numb all your feelings & pain both emotional and physical.  But this numbness is just momentary & temporary.  It will bring back reinforcements, worse the morning after.  Alcohol is cunning, baffling, & powerful.  Alcoholism is a disease.  A progressive disease which cannot be cured but can only be arrested by total abstinence

Low coping skills, low self esteem, emotionally weak are some of the reasons for hitting the bottle.  Nina, you will have to learn to be strong & surrender to the fact that alcohol has licked you.  Surrender to the fact that you are powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable.  

It is time you faced reality and come to terms with life.  Start living life on life’s terms.  You’ve have a whole new world ahead of you.  I do not want you to reach rock bottom where you lose everything including your kids.  Wake up now & move on Nina.  

First of all have faith in a higher power.  Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who have suffered the same way as you are & here in you will find help from other alcoholics through their experience, strength and hope. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Millions have recovered by attending AA meetings.  Their 12-step program has helped thousands lead a sober and fruitful life.  Contact your nearest AA immediately.  Someone is sure to come by and help you.  If you can tell me the city and the locality where you stay, I can be of help.

Do not lose hope Nina.  Have faith and walk towards sobriety.  Do not reach out for the first drink.  Remember, the first drink does the damage.  Pick up the phone and reach out for help.  Help is just a phone call away.

Please do not hesitate to mail me if you've any questions or concerns.

God bless


Amarnath