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Addiction to Alcohol/my boyfriend the substance misuse practitioner who drinks every day

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Expert: - 10/20/2009


Question
my boyfriend is a counselor but he drinks at least 4 pts of snake bite(lager and cider mix) every day of the week without fail and when he is with his alcoholic friend he drinks even more which is on average at least three days of the week.he says its not a problem cos you only need a detox if your drinking affects your life, ie you cant go to work etc, denoting physical dependency but it is affecting how i feel with him. he isnt happy and loving until he is drunk enough and until then he is withdrawn. he says he knows what he is talking about and sends prople away who drink every day cos they havent got a problem. is he an alcoholic, it seems to be the first thing he thinks of every night and sometimes he will go for days without eating. Help please

Answer

Beverley Glazer MA., I
Hi Michelle:

Your boyfriend is in denial and rationalizes that because he is familiar with alcoholism, he is under control. It's not as simple as going to detox -- he has to change his life.

Tell him that his drinking is affecting his life, because it's affecting your relationship. Tell him that it's only a matter of time before it's going to affect his work as well -- but he won't believe you at this point.

No matter what you say or do Michelle, you can't break your boyfriend's denial. You can however, give him an awareness of his problem. Here's a test that may open his eyes a bit:

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/alcohol-addiction.html

If he begins to admit to the problem, demand that he gets help or goes to meetings for the sake of your relationship. It may also be helpful for you to attend Al-Anon meetings to see how others have handled your situation.

Unfortunately, the only person who can get an alcoholic to change is the person himself. But, if it becomes too difficult for you, you may have to leave him and move on.

Thank you for writing AllExperts

Best of luck,

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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