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About Beverley Glazer
Expertise
I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience
I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > Health/Fitness > Substance Abuse > Addiction to Alcohol > Behavior of an alcoholic when sober

Addiction to Alcohol - Behavior of an alcoholic when sober


Expert: Beverley Glazer - 11/4/2009

Question
I think my mother-in-law is an alcoholic. Since my father-in-laws death last year, she has resorted to drinking a lot in an attempt to soothe her grief.  In my opinion, she has always had a drinking problem, but what used to be mostly weekend binge drinking is becoming an almost daily event.  She has become verbally abusive of late - even when sober - and I'm wondering if this is symptomatic?  She's never been a very nice person (but then again, I'm her son-in-law) but it seems to me that she has become more abusive and less rational when sober or when drunk.  How should we deal with her?  Ignore her?  Tell her off?
Thanks.

Answer
Hi Kevin,

It seems to me, that your mother-in-law does have a drinking problem -- so when she stops, she's  not in the best mood. I think this is what you're experiencing.

What also is problematic is that she lives alone and no one really knows how bad her drinking has become. To complicate matters even more, she may also be using prescription medication for other reasons, and this can conflict with alcohol use as well. Here is more information on alcohol and the elderly:

Http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/aging-process.html

She wants to keep people away, with her abusive behavior, so, although it's not pleasant, don't argue with her. Both you and your wife and every one in the family must stand together and make demands. Do not ignore her, because that's exactly what she wants. Tell her that you are concerned, and you can ask her to please see a doctor regarding her medical health. This may be an easier way to get her out of denial and get help.

Don't tell her off -- even though it may be very tempting. All of you must stand your ground and demand that she sees a doctor. Someone else can also make the appointment as well as accompany her (she'll really fight that one, but don't give in)

It may also be helpful to drop in on her occasionally, to check-up on how she's doing. Don't be intimidated by the abuse. Not easy, I know, but if she gets the help she needs she may eventually be a likable person.

Thank you for asking AllExperts,
Best of luck,

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

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