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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Substance Abuse > Addiction to Alcohol > my husband is an alcoholic
Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 11/1/2009
Question
I have been married to a great man(when he's sober) for 8 years and have 3 beautiful girls and a baby boy on the way. My question is..how can I confront my husband about his drinking? He always tells me that he is not going to drink anymore and we even moved to a different state because he said that he wanted to start a new life without alcohol and being away from all the people he partied with would help him. But about a year after we moved,everything went back to the same way it was before. I try to talk to him but it always winds up in a fight and I don't want my children to live this way, My father was an alcoholic and I remember how life was,I dont want my children to grow up without their Dad but I don't want them to have the type of memories that I have. Please help me!!!!
Answer
Hello Melissa,
I am so sorry that you have to experience the pain of living with a man whom you love but who is an alcoholic, especially when you grew up with an alcoholic father. As you now know, an alcoholic takes his disease with him when he tries a "geographic cure" as they phrase it in AA. There is no quick fix for this situation. I can only suggest that you seek support and knowledge about alcoholism perhaps from a therapist familiar with addiction, and consider attending Al-Anon, the 12 Step program for those in a relationship with an alcoholic: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ You will also, I think, find this website helpful (and there are 12 Step meetings here also) to guide you in identifying and beginning to change behaviors in yourself that are the result of being the child of an alcoholic: http://www.adultchildren.org/. It takes time to learn how to protect yourself and your children and how not to play into the alcoholic behaviors of your husband. Support and knowledge are freely available at both of those websites I gave you and at the 12 Step meetings (Al-Anon and ACOA). Good luck,
Jan Edward Williams, MS, JD, LCADC
http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com
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