Expert: Clyde - 12/14/2009

Question
I need help, i want to know how i dare the rain of finishin with my boyfriend, been with him on and off for nearly 9 years we hav a 7year old daughter together, his family treat me so good like one of their own that i think this is the hardest part to leave him, as my own family are all alcoholics i disowned them, i just want to be happy an be cable to get over him in the easiest way possible,.  

Answer
Teri,
  Thank you for your question.  The only thing I can say is that loss is never easy - divorce  or disowning family is almost worse than death - as death brings a certain extra amount of closure to the relationship.  In other words the people who we have left are still living and breathing and it causes us some added grieve as we leave.
   You do not say but I would suppose that disowning your family was not easy when you really look at the heartbreak of losing the chance to be with them for a lifetime.  But we have to remember that people choose their lifestyles to a large degree - alcoholics choose to drink and hurt those they love in the process.
   You can only pray for guidance from God to know when and how this loss will play out.  You will sense the right thing to do for you and your daughter and then proceed down that road. You can not force the boyfriend to do anything about his drinking.  As changes take place by your decisions for yourself you may push his hand at making some of his own.
   But, there is no way to lessen the pain of breaking up - it comes with the territory.

   I hope this may have helped.

Grace and Peace,
Clyde