Expert: Druideck - 2/16/2009

Question
Hi
I am forty years old, married for nearly 17 years and have drank on and off since I was fourteen. I stopped for over three years in my early thirties. The first few months were hell, but then I quit smoking cigarettes and cannabis and threw myself into a new activity karate. Unfortunately I suffered a bad knee injury after 18 months and had to stop. Even though exercise helped I felt deprived most evenings and especially Friday night. I come from the North of England and the drinking culture was and is intense. A few months after leaving karate I started drinking again. I have stopped off and on for months at a time since then but I just can't keep it up. I can drink about 5 pints of strong (5.2% alcohol by volume) lager every week day evening. At the weekend I drink lunchtimes too. I don't get drunk, I don't fall asleep, I don't get hangovers and I'm never late for work. I've got a good managerial job. My wife is very supportive when I try and quit and never judgmental when I fail.
I feel that I'm riding my luck and I desperately want to quit. Right now I am two weeks sober. I would like to attend AA meetings, but I'm scared off by the fact that they are religious. I don't know how I can put myself in the hands of a higher power when I don't believe in a higher power. Do you have any advice? I really do not want to fall off the wagon again.

Answer
Good day,

I can understand your reluctance to
attend AA meetings. There is often
some talk by some people about
religion even though the program
does not require you to be "religious"

It is what is called a spiritual program.
It consists of 12 steps you follow to
recover, some of these steps
mention God only because
of the beliefs and experiences of
the founding members.

You are not asked to be part of any religion
or to believe in the God described in most
religious sects.

The only requirement to make use
of their successful record is a desire to stop
drinking and to open your mind
to the possibility they can help you.

The point to going to the meetings
is so when you feel tempted
to drink you will have a safe alternative.

The craving to drink and the thoughts
of drinking leave most people after
a time. The regret you feel in
quitting is normal grief
for losing that priviledge
due to it's bad effects on our health.

I could not quit drinking with my own
willpower for more than a week or two,
yet after regaining my
health and sanity in AA
I have been sober for 22 years.

Once you start following the 12 step
program you will not regret leaving
the drinking life behind.
It opens new doors for you.

You don't have to do any religious
stuff so don't worry.
Just work on getting well and sober
again.

If they say you need a higher power
just say I believe AA can help
me stay sober, that is my higher power
for sobriety.

Give up your resistance to getting help,
you will only hurt yourself. It takes letting
go sometimes to help yourself.
We hate to admit that our methods
of self-will don't work but it
is the sad truth.

Good luck!