Expert: Beverley Glazer - 2/16/2009

Question
Hi there,
My Father aged 53 is a Chronic Alchoholic. At the age of 15 he bacame a drug addict. Then my Grandfather had put him in a rehab. Once he was out of the rehab, he was not able to do without  drug so he succumbed to Alchohol. Since then he has been totally into it. As a result My Mom's life has got completely ruined. Now, I have admitted my Father in a rehab...He has been admitted here fpr the sceond time in a span of 4 years. He is recovering but I have not been getting positive feedback about his recovery from his Counsellor. He will get discharged this month end. Now how do I treat him because he tends to take me and my Mom for granted when we are nice and polite to him...he tends to get violent and aggressive if we are strict with him...please let me know how do we handle such a difficult person

Answer
Hi Gayatri,

It sounds like both you and your Mom have your hands full. Rehab is good but there's no guarantee that he won't relapse.

Here's a link that may help you:
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/treatment_recovery.html

Your Dad needs follow-up after treatment after rehab. You can call the rehab and ask about it.

AA is a good support system to keep him on track, but he may or may not be open to it. There may also be an after-care treatment program at the rehab. He should go, but you have no control of that.

Find out if there are AL Anon meetings in your area. These meetings are for families of alcoholic/addicts. (They may also have Al Ateen). Go with your mom. The members will be very welcoming and supportive. All of them are in your situation.

Both of you will get tools to deal with dad, and to stand firm without giving in, feeling guilty or being manipulated.

Hope this information is helpful,
Thank you for writing All Experts

Best of luck!

Beverley Glazer
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com