Expert: Beverley Glazer - 2/7/2009

Question
Hi,  

My name is Steve and I am a recovering alcoholic.  It will be 4 years for me in June.  I am writing in reference to my younger brothers alcoholism.  I live 350 miles from where our problem is, however several of my siblings live in the same hometown as my brother.  

Yesterday (02/06/2009) my brother was admitted to the hospital suffering from DT's.  I should give a little background here.  

My brother has been a chronic alcoholic for many years.  We believe he drinks at least a half gallon of vodka a day.  My mom has a winter place in Florida, and my dad is deceased.  Whenever my brother looses a job, and runs out of money he returns home to live in my mom's house which is vacated during the winter months.  I know my mom is a classic enabler, by letting him stay there, and she sends him money frequently thinking she is helping him. He has no job, no insurance, and obviously no regard for the feelings of others in the family.  We all have approached him about his alcoholism, and of course he just gets worse after trying to sober up by himself.  He has been in re-hab a couple of times, and knows about AA, but refuses to get the help he so desperately needs. We as a family have tried to explain to our mom she is enabling him, but she is afraid if she doesn't provide him the house to live in and money, he will do something very drastic like suicide.  (He has attempted this a couple of years ago).  

Yesterday my older sister got a call from the police at 6 am to go to my moms because my brother had called 911 several times, claiming someone was trying to break in and kill him.  He was extremely delusional, and very intoxicated, as well as very unstable so my sister took him to the hospital.  He was admitted to the critical care unit, and ended up in 4 point restraints because of his delusions.  He claims seeing bugs, and other graphic mutilations of his own self, so he is obviously extremely delusional.  He is in the hospital as I write this

Because he has no insurance, we know when he gets over the delusions the hospital will release him, and the cycle
will start once again.  I guess what I need to know is, are there any alternatives we can do to get him the hospitalization he needs?  He is an Air Force veteran, but I know how slow the wheels of government move.  Is there state help or some way we can get him committed to a treatment facility?  This is tearing up my sister, and she can't spend the time he needs as a care giver.  My other siblings have completely written him off as hopeless, and are of no help what so ever.

I hope you can provide some insight to government aid and how we can get him the help he needs

Thank you


Answer
Hi Steve,

You are perfectly right. Your Mom is enabling your brother, however, at this point she's particularly fearful that he will die and she may not be wrong. She needs as much help as he does.

Tell her and your sister to go to Al-Anon meetings. These meetings are for families of alcoholics and they'll give them the support they need. This is the link for a page with the official AA site with referral to Al-Anon.

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/treatment_recovery

You can find a meeting in their area. As for the present problem, you're right, the hospital will release him. So while he's there, have him assessed by a psychiatrist and see if he can be referred to a medical detox. Also speak to the social services department in the hospital. The social workers should be able to give you insurance information and a referral to a treatment facility that would be best. In the mean time, start the 'wheels of government' moving.

It's not uncommon for siblings to write off, an alcoholic, but it certainly doesn't make the situation easier - particularly since you're so far away. But fortunately most of this can be accomplished on the phone.

Hope this advice is helpful.

Thank you for writing All Experts. If I can help you further, please let me know.

Bev,
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com