Expert: Beverley Glazer - 3/23/2009

Question
Hi, I would be grateful for your opinion,
My Husband is a binge drinker & its affecting myself & our Daughter badly (he wont agree with that), he mostly doesn' t drink in the week, unless he has an excuse to go out, but
weekend are another matter....... he just cannot stay sober on a weekend, & it is destroying our family.....he drinks in what is best described a very "greedy" way, ie, less time in the pub, just means he bolts down more beer (always strong lager, rarely spirits or shots) 9-10 pint average......he seems unable to help himself, & gets very agitated if I make him come home, & he spends the rest of the night spoiling for a fight, like a stroppy teen. When home & drunk, he is often aggressive, & very nasty, not violent, but he scares me, & our Daughter
I have health problems, registered disabled with Fibromyalgia &
(though i still do everything for our Daughter) & he blames his need to drink on this, other times he just denies he drinks too much at all, insisting he is sober,...whilst swaying, & snarling at me.
When he's sober, he mostly a wonderful Husband, & a good Dad in a lot of ways
sorry for the waffle, I'm upset to be writing this,

is this an type of alcholic??

Thank you
Lyn


Answer
Hi Lyn,

Your husband drinks way too much and has developed tolerance. He's what we call a binge drinker. It's very hard to break the denial of a binge drinker, because he believes that he doesn't drink every day, so he's not an alcoholic.

There's a test that may help you:
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/alcohol-addiction

I'm sure he won't have a perfect score. Tell him that he must get help for the this problem Tell him that you love him very much, but with Fibromyalgia it's much too much stress (this is true). And point him to the nearest AA meeting - but he may not go

For yourself find the Al-Anon meetings in your area. You can get support and strategies from the other family members of Alcoholics. This is a really good network and many members become friends.

Hope this information is helpful,

Thank you for writing All Experts

This won't be easy, but stay strong.

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com