Expert: Amarnath.B - 3/2/2009

Question
Hi there,
I really hope you can help. I met my girlfriend online in Aug 2007, we really clicked and i love her to pieces. At the time we lived about 20miles apart but we still saw each other frequently. About a year ago she quit her job as a pharmacy dispenser & moved in with me. Since moving she has struggled to find work and seems to have become more and more depressed although this isn't constant. About once a month I'll come home from work to find her drunk out of her mind. Sometimes she can hardly speak & has even wet herself on occasions. I know she was abused when she was younger and hasn't spoken much about it, only to myself. She managed to tell her gp who advised she probably wont be able to deal with these problems until shes read to speak to a psychiatrist. She also used to have really bad nightmares about the abuse but these seem to have subsided but shes still drinking. We frequently drink together in the company of friends on a weekend but I've never seen her as drunk as what she is when i come home from work. I'm really worried & don't really know how to help her if she wont talk to me. Any advice would be really appreciated.
Thankyou!

Answer
Hello Rebecca,

Thank you for your question.

It is really difficult to tell if someone has a drinking problem without one knowing the history and pattern of drinking.  By your description, your girlfriend seems to have an underlying mental illness like depression which can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist.  Usually this illness is masked but manifests when one starts drinking. It gets worse when the drinking becomes frequent and heavy.  You did mention your girlfriend has a history of abuse and this probably is one of the reasons for her depression.  People with symptoms of depression or anxiety self medicate the negative symptoms of an experienced disorder. Unfortunately, while intoxication may bring some temporary relief, the long term effects of alcohol abuse almost always worsen experienced psychiatric symptoms. Alcoholic psychiatric patients are at a great risk for an accelerated progression of both diseases, and require immediate interventions and treatment.

Loneliness is also one of the factors contributing to depressive episodes and excessive drinking.  Your girlfriend has either become an alcoholic or is on the verge of becoming one.  She needs to see a counselor at the earliest for both her drinking problem and depression.  She can also contact AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)for help.  But it is imperative she sees a psychiatrist or a counselor for her emotional and mental problems.

Please do not hesitate to mail me back if you have any questions or concerns.  I hope your girlfriend gets well soon.  

God bless


Amarnath