Expert: Beverley Glazer - 4/20/2009

Question
I have a good friend who has suffered with depression for years and believes that she is an alcoholic. She has stopped drinking but I know that every single day is difficult for her. It's a constant struggle not to drink. All I have are my words to comfort her, but after a while telling her that she can do it, to hang in there, and that I love her are not enough. Can you please give me any advice on what I can say to be more supportive without sounding so cliche and quite frankly unhelpful?

Answer
Hi Amanda,

Alcohol is a depressant, so since she's an alcoholic, it's too late to tell which came first, the depression or the alcoholism.

This test may be helpful for her fully realize her problem:

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/alcohol-addiction.html

The addiction is larger than both of you, so no matter how much verbal support you give her to stop drinking, she can't do it. Tell her that you love and care for her welfare and you can't just watch as she destroys herself. Check out the AA meetings in your area and tell her to go.

The members will be welcoming and she doesn't have to talk. Tell her she can sit in the back of the room until she's ready, but she has to keep on going - no excuses. Here's where you can give her support and encouragement to get herself better.

AA has helped many people get sober. Hopefully she'll be one of them,

Hope this information is helpful.

Thank you for writing All Experts

Good luck!

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com