Expert: Beverley Glazer - 4/13/2009

Question
I suspect that my daughter has a drinking problem, she is 21 and has lived back in our household for four months.  In that time I have found the following hidden:  2 large gallon size bottles of Bacardi and several beer bottles, she has also consumed two bottles of vodka and replaced the contents with water, a case of beer, half a bottle of limoncello and that is just what I have found.  She has also come home drunk on more than one occasion so severely drunk that she urinated on herself two times.  I have told her that I am concerned about her drinking and she says she does not have a problem only doing what other kids her age are doing.  I have younger children in the house (18 & 15), I no longer keep alcohol in the house so now she is buying it and hiding it, I found three quart bottles of beer last night when she was drunk in her room.  I have told her that she needs to get help or find some where else to live.  Not sure if I am overreacting, I know kids drink, but this seems excessive.  I am also not sure where to find her some help as I cannot force her as she is an adult. What do I do next?

Answer
Hi Carol,

I believe that your daughter may have a drinking problem, and she may or may not be an alcoholic. Only a psychological assessment done by a professional could tell you that. Nevertheless, she drinks way too much.

Here's a page that can help you. Let her see this test. It may help break some of her denial.

Http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/alcohol-abuse.html

There are many other pages on the site that also can help you.

You say that she moved back home. Was there are reason for it? Is she in school? Does she work? Does she pay rent? All this is important because she may have dropped out due to partying and/or all her money is being spent on drink.

Since she lives with you, you can demand that she gets treatment. Find an addiction counselor in your area, and if she's in school she can use the services there. Young people are resist going to AA, but there may be a young people's meeting in your area, you can check that out too.

It would  also be helpful to go to Al Anon. These meetings are for family members of alcoholics. They will encourage you to stand firm with her. She may have to leave the house for the sake of the rest of the family.

Your daughter is an adult, so she has a choice: Get help now, or leave the family until she's ready.

Hope this information is helpful.

Thank you for contacting All Experts,

Good Luck

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com