Expert: Beverley Glazer - 4/4/2009

Question
dear beverly,
i have always thought my husband has drunk alot. he has a drink every day, sometimes only 1 can of lager but as much as a bottle of red wine a night, then he would fall asleep but i have found him lying about it now. when i confronted him with it he admited that he had been drinking wine behind my back. armed with this information i went looking around the house and have been horrified to find empty bottles of wine hidden in the garage, i have found about thirty, i dont know how long they have been there but i dont know what to do for the best.
i love him very much and we have two small children so i cant just walk away from him, please help.

Answer
Hi Debbie,

It's very common for an alcoholic to hide bottles all around the house, so don't be surprised if you find more of them. They do this because they need a drink and want to make sure that they have one - then they forget where they put them. They're embarrassed that they're out of control - but not embarrassed enough to admit that they have to get help. This is what's called denial.

Here's a test he can do.

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/alcohol-abuse.html

It can open his eyes to his denial, but you have to be firm. Tell him that you love him and that you don't want to leave, but he must get help -- or else. Demand that he goes to AA meetings and get a sponsor. He will probably fight this, but he must go.

Look into Al Anon meetings for yourself. The members are all in similar situations and you'll learn how to maintain your sanity, so you can focus on yourself and the kids and not allow his addiction to drag you down.

Not easy - but at least there are no more secrets.

Thank you for writing All Experts
I hope this information is helpful.

All the best
Bev

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com