Addiction to Alcohol/Homeless Nephew

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Expert: - 5/19/2009


Question
Hello,
I have a nephew, age 22, who is homeless/ currently living in an abandoned house in Michigan.  His father, in Colorado, disowned him, and his mother, my sister, can't handle him, and her boyfriend doesn't want to take him in.  He has been kicked out of relatives & friends houses, and no one wants to take him in any longer.  He has been in and out of jail, using drugs/ alcohol, & has behavioral issues (manipulative/ lying).  He is on probation (possibly a warrant) , and is supposed to be paying child support.
At one point he completed a 30 day Salvation Army program.  We are thinking of bringing him to Florida, where most of his family is, and trying to convince him to enter another program (ie Faith Farm, Drug Abuse Foundation, etc) to help him learn responsibility and how to support himself, and may need help doing so.  He, of course, has no money, and we don't have a lot.
Do you agree?  If so, are there 1 or more programs you might recommend for him over Faith Farm (Okeechobee), Teen Challenge Mens Center (Sanford), or Drug Abuse Foundation (Delray Beach)?  If so, might you help us convince him to enter a program, and if so, how much would you charge to do so?  If not yourself, who might you recommend to help us?

Thank you,
Jeff Omans

Answer
Hi Jeff,

Your nephew has many behavioral problems and he's got to straighten out, and he's the only one who can do it. He's burned his bridges with his family and if you take him to Florida, you will feel responsible for him.

A 30 day program without AA meetings and a sponsor is doomed for failure. He has to be on a very rigid structured program. And then work the 12 steps with his sponsor. This is what they are:

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/12-step-program-of-aa.html

Should you decide to take him to Florida, you have to set the conditions - If he comes with you, he MUST get help.

The Centers you suggested are fine, but the follow-up after treatment is extremely important. If he doesn't agree to go (for as long as they'll take him)don't put yourself in the position of being his caregiver.

Al Anon meetings would also help you and other family members.

Good Luck
Thank you for asking All Experts


Bev
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Addiction to Alcohol

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Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

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NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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