Expert: Beverley Glazer - 5/26/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi Beverley,

I took the questionnaire and it said stage 2 alcoholism.  I do want to drink more after my friends are done.  I have drank alone before, but I don't anymore bc I am scared of my parents catching me.  So does the stage 2 thing still apply? I have moments where i want a drink, but if I am at home I can't get one.  However, when I am at school it is bad.

So i don't know about the assessment because yes I have done it before but now it is on again off again.  The first 8 apply no matter what, at home or at school, but the 2nd stage questions are not always a definite answer.

If I choose to talk to my substance abuse professor who also deals with students who need help. Do you know what she would do with me?  She says talking to her is different than a counselor.

I have tried speaking to counselors in the counseling center at school and it felt like they talked down to me.  One was like "how does it feel to hear you have a drinking problem?" and the other was like "well is it a problem or you just had a few bad experiences"

I feel like when i go out to a bar with my friend.  I take an earlier train because I want to get out of my house.  So I will go to a different bar in hoboken and have 2 or 3 drinks before she even comes, so that way when I go with her I can feel the effects



ANSWER: Hi again Alison,

The assessment that's on the web is simply for you to see that this is a serious problem, but it's not a professional assessment - where your level of drinking is actually charted on a graph.

It just gives you focus. Here's another page that can open your eyes.

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.alcohol-abuse.html

Just be assured that all you're doing is breaking the denial. If you stop drinking, it's only a matter of time before you'll start again. You need professional help and the school counselors may not be specialized in addiction.

Your professor may be a good option if she's also a professional private counselor. Ask her if she maintains full confidentiality.

There also may be a conflict for you, as you may feel uncomfortable about disclosing personal information with your professor. If this is the case, ask her if she can refer you to a licensed and certified addiction counselor - or check out the web.

Before you make arrangements, try AA meetings. Just walk into a meeting. Don't worry about the 'god thing'. Listen to the message, it's all good and the members will be welcoming. They're all struggling and they understand.

Drinking before the 'party' is very common with substance abuse. It's all about tolerance. But it diminishes self esteem.

Thanks for writing All Experts

Hope this information is helpful.
Do whatever it takes to turn your life around,

All the best,
Beverley Glazer MA
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com






---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Beverley,

I didn't get the weblink to work.  My professor is a counselor and she told me she does maintain confidentiality.  What would she ask?

I feel like with me, there is stuff surrounding my drinking (ie. not knowing enough people, not good relationship with parents etc)

is this how it is for most people?  they have other problems and they drink to make themselves feel better?

and when i was in the hospital, the discharge papers told me i was alcoholic

Answer
Hi Alison,

I don't know what your professor would ask, but I know how I've been trained and she'd probably do something similar.

First, there's a written assessment (takes no more than 10 minutes max) and then you'd be able to see how high you are on a scale, related to the 'norm' as well as a brief personality assessment so she can understand your thinking.  

She'd then get relevant info regarding your family history, friends, support system etc. Your concerns about relationships, and family issues should come up in the assessment. Once she has an overview of what's going on, she'd give you goals and direction of the treatment. You'd get weekly techniques - not only for drink, but for other aspects of your life.

The method is Cognitive Behavioral therapy, which is very effective with addiction as with other disorders. Basically, you learn not to 'self medicate' to feel better, but to turn your thoughts around. To understand more about cog. therapy:
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/untwist-your-thinking.html

This is not a long drawn-out process as far as therapies go.

You're right, alcohol is a symptom - not the root cause of the problem, but once you're an alcoholic, the drink takes over and makes your life worse, so this absolutely has to be addressed first thing.

But most importantly, you have to have rapport and be confident in the therapist. Only you can decide that.

Here's hoping this info will help you further,

Once again, thank you for writing.

Best of luck on this journey.

Beverley Glazer MA
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com