Question 18 years of sobriety and approximately 3 years ago he started drinking in small amounts. we moved in together when i relocated to his area. i also drank heavily but could put it down. he experienced a horible episode of filling up with fluid in the abdomen, fatigue,loss of appetite and stopped drinking then--i am a nurse--i have lived with alcoholics all my life--my dad, my grandfather my brother. at one point i was drinkin heavily just to keep up with him--not my style. i cut back to my usual--a few on the weekends if that and one or two o special occasions. my boyfriend says it is not that i drink that he wants to drink it is that he is an alcoholic. i had some booze in the house for me--i left on a business trip for a week. when i got back all the booze was gone and again he was sick like before--he stopped drinking for 50 days. i realized in the past few weeks he was drinking all day/night and drinking whatever i had in the house--led to argument--i informed him i would no longer bring it into the house and if i chose to have a drink--i would do elsewhere--because i really do not like the bar scene--i bought my own small bottle and kept it in the car--when i felt like having a drink--i made one without him there and had one drink for the evening. one night this week i woke up at 3 am--he is spraweled on the floor an couch and announces there is booze in the frigde and asks me to have a drink with him--i did not--but did ask him if he drove impaired to get this bottle--he informed me he went to my car and found the bottle and brought it inside--at which time i took the bottle and locked in in my file cabinet. last night he wakes me up at 1058 pm and says i have taken pain pills and my throat won't quite hurting--i have to have a drink--ofcourse another argument occurred. he is constantly asking me to make him a drink which i refuse to do. in this last argument he told me i was going to end up being alone--i told him he was going to end up in the weeds because he is a drunk. at 3 am this morning he comes into he bedroom and plops down in the bed not intentially hitting me but did--and jabbers constantly as if he is talking to someone and none of this makes sense--i am damb mad--i have to work today and ofcourse could not go back to sleep.
i love this man--i love what he was before--i don't know what else to do except to not bring the booze in--the funny thing is--is that if he was so desperate for a drink why did he just now go out to get his own--is it because he knew i had some and he could bagger me into proving him some just to get him off his back--i do not want to enable him any longer and i believe i am. i don't want to trow him out of the house which thankfully is in my name only but i feel that is the only option i have left--please advise. i went to alonon before--my experience has not been good--it seemed that all the group did was complain about their situation but no real solutions or ideas for solutions to work with came up--the adgendas always turned personal--please help
Answer Dear Michelle
I think it is time for you to leave. If that sobers him up, good. If not, you will have saved yourself a lifetime of misery. This has nothing to do with you other than you allow it to continue. Healthy people would not put up with this behavior. So get away and go to a counselor to find out why you even want to be around this guy.
