AboutDruideck Expertise All questions are important,
I have over 22 years of personal experience with alcoholism and recovery issues.
Advanced Counsellor Training / Experience with treatment and AA.
Experience Over 22 years of recovery from alcoholism.
Counsellor in an alcohol outpatient office.
Experience as client and as counsellor in treatment center.
Education/Credentials Advanced counsellor certificate,
Melbourne ORYGEN Research Centre volunteer consultant
Question my brother lives with my mom and i in my mothers house his drinking is horrible. any money he makes goes to beer he is becoming more and more beligurant. he upsets my mother on a daily bases. he is supposed to help around the house but is doing less and less you ask him to do something and he just complanes and does it half ass. my mom talks to him and tells him that his drinking is becoming a problem and that he needs to help more but he just ignorse her and says that you are always nit picking. my mom loves her son but is at her wits end and feels she has no recourse. my siblings have told her to kick him out but he has nothing and no where to go and they are not really willing to help with him. i have tried to talk to him but he just gets mad and tells me to leave him alone. there is so much more but im sure you get the jist of our situation any help and suggestions will be greatly appreciated
Answer Deborah,
this is becoming a problem for many
parents these days. My best
suggestions is to draw a line
for him. This means the family
has to come together and possibly
with the help of an intervention
counsellor confront him with
his behaviour and the consequences.
This should be a well planned thing
and not just a casual confrontation.
First he must be given a way out
of this other than being kicked out
with nothing.
Arrange with an intervention counsellor
to have him admitted to a rehab/treatment
centre or at least verifiable counselling
sessions and AA meetings on a regular basis
for at least 90 days.
Then when you confront him you can say
either this treatment or you have to move out
on your own and deal with your problem
some other way.
When faced with the street or alcohol
treatment he may decide to accept help.
There is no guarantee but the way
things are going there will
be a big crunch one of these days
and you are helping him to be helpless
by letting him stay without any
responsibilities.
I know it is hard to treat family
this way but ask yourselves if you
are really helping him now?
He will drink until someone
stands up to him and refuses
to accept his apathy.
He may not see the problem clearly
but he will after an intervention.
This is an act of love to help
him get his life back in some order.
Take your time and talk to some
alcohol counsellors first. Research
intervention online and AA also.
Make sure you are organized and calm.
