AboutClyde Expertise I can answer questions on the recovery from alcohol addiction as I am a recovering alcoholic with 15 years of sobriety. I can also address the spiritual aspects of the 12-Step program as I have a Master of Divinity degree and serve as a pastor for the Quaker church.
Experience I am a recovering alcoholic with 15 years of continuous sobriety.
Education/Credentials Master of Divinity awarded in 2000 from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary
Question My brother has a problem with alcohol, he managed to stay sobber for almost a year-attending AAmeetings-after a year he said that he wanted to stop the meetings because he felt that by going to meetings he kept himself in the problem and in the illness. He said that he doesn't want to drink but if he wanted he would have 1 or 2 drinks in the future. So in the last 2months he had a couple of beers with some friends. I am really worried about him...I feel that one drink will lead hm to another and then back to getting drunk..he thinks that he can control it and that he can drink when he wants to do it and stop when he wants..what can I do? How can I help him-since when I start a discussion about alcohol he gets annoyed and aggressive-is there anything that I can say to him to make him understand the harm that he is doing to hmself?
Answer Eleina,
Thank you for your questions. I suggest that you offer support and not condemnation or confrontation at this point. He has attended AA and so he knows the ramifications for a true alcoholic going back to the drink. He will not last long if he is a true alcoholic.
Your supportive attitude will give him trust in you to perhaps come to you when it becomes a real issue again. Hopefully that will occur before anything major takes place. The Big Book of AA says that we have to have the idea smashed that we can ever safely drink BUT it also says that if we are not convinced, then do some controlled drinking. He is right about this place in his AA program.
Only by his experimenting with controlled drinking (one or two beers on a very rare occasion is going to be pure absolute hell on a real alcoholic) can he come to the place of recognizing that he does not drink like "normal" people.
It will do no good to confront him with your opinion of the drinking. Try your level best to be supportive. He may not be alcoholic after all and live out his life a moderate drinker. Only he can say whether he is an alcoholic or not.
I hope this has helped and write again if I may be of any help.
